Constant heartache

[Courtney]

I lost my boyfriend a month ago to suicide. He had shot himself. He texted me a pic of a gun, said I love you, and goodbye. He also sent me a song called The Greatest Love Story.I searched for 3 days for him and couldn't find him. A farmer called the police station and found his body in his Jeep.My world has fallen apart and I feel as of I can't go on. When he texted me goodbye my phone was dead. If it wasn't I could've talked him out of it. He wanted to be with me that day but I had stuff goin on. I keep blaming myself for it. His sister had a picture of him dead in his Jeep and showed it to me. It's a image I'll never be able to forget. I was so in love with him and I'll never be the same person again. My heart is shattered.

[Lily]

I can completely relate. My fiance overdosed, and I will never know if it was intentional or accidental. He struggled with alcohol and adderall addiction. We were moving away to get away from everything and everyone to give him a better chance to get clean and recover. He had gotten a job before I did and we were apart for what would have been 20 days. He begged me over and over not to leave him alone, but I had to come back home and tie up loose ends, (pack up my apt, give notice to my job, give notice on my lease, etc) and assured him we'd be together forever in just a few short weeks. We drove up together on June 4th to get him settled in and I was scheduled to arrive June 24. We texted all day everyday and spoke on the phone often. June 19, I spoke to him briefly on the phone and we texted until 1:00pm, then nothing. I tried reaching him all day and all night. There was no one I could call to check in on him as he was up there alone, I called his job first thing in the morning and when he didnt show I knew something was definitely wrong. He never missed work. He died alone and was dead for almost 24 hours before they found him. It's all my fault. He begged me not to leave him alone. He was the love of my life and had proposed to me Jan 30. We were gonna get married as soon as I got there..... I will never ever be the same and I feel so completely responsible