GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Divorce, Mental illness and death within last 3 years

About 3 years ago I ended my 20 year marriage to my ex-husband who was being unfaithful and disconnected.  4 months after I announced to my kids that I was getting a divorce my son had a manic episode and was incarcerated and taken in to custody.  When he was released he was sent to a mental hospital where he was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.  My daughter was coping and remaining busy with her senior year and in college as well her senior year.  I guess she copes by making herself so busy she has no time to stop and process all that is going on.  My youngest was rebellious and the divorce made him even more rebellious he ended up in drug recovery classes and on probation.  He began to work in the summer doing some farm labor and earned enough to buy an older car.  His dad took him to buy this car without any instructions of how to drive.  I asked my son to park the car until I could get him some driving classes but he refused and said he was going to race this car.  He mentioned this 2 days in a row and would take off.  I knew that I could not stop him because he would only become aggravated.  He did go out and race a couple of other teens and ended up getting hit by an oncoming vehicle.  The teens that he was racing decided it would not be good to wait for an ambulance and instead choose to pull him out of the car and take him to the ER.  He only survived 2 hours after the accident and then I lost him.  I was upset with his father for not being concerned over his son safety after knowing his caricature and lack of maturity.  I know that God had a time in which he gave me my son and then choose to call him back to Himself.  I know that He will give me the strength and comfort that I need I just wish it would happen quickly.  I feel like I had some kind of heart surgery I am trying to recover from.  I lack motivation to do the things I one day enjoyed and I am on antidepressants that help me manage through that lack of motivation.  I felt at times that doing a small chore made me feel very overwhelmed.  I felt like I had nothing left to contribute to anyone and that I was barely surviving.  I know that it is how I see my circumstances and the real pain that death of a loved one can cost.  I just hope that day by day I can experience more comfort and less pain and sadness.  I know that God wants me to live life and live it abundantly no matter what order he calls my loved ones in first.  I have had to have conversations with myself about the word of God and it's truths and this has helped me in a way nothing else ever will.  The Lord is helping me care for one of my kids and I now have to live and focus on the many things God wants me to do in life.  Keep me and my family in your prayers I would appreciate it.     

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Hi Patty,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.  Communication is key to recovery and I hope this site is helpful to you.  Yes, you have been through a LOT in the last 3 years.  I am so sorry to hear about your divorce, your son's mental illness and especially the loss of your other son. My son was 4 when my husband died and he is now about the same age (15).  Words cannot express my empathy for you.  I am giving you a BIG virtual hug.  They say bad things happen in 3's and I remember my other struggles in the early stages of grief.  I hope 2015 brings you much deserved peace and joy.  I pray the resources and members on this site provide you Help for Today & Hope for Tomorrow.

Warm wishes for wonderful Holiday season,

Judy

Founding member  

Thanks Judy I do hope to continue moving forward in the process of grieving many things in 2015 and I am just allowing myself time for healing.  Just struggle with my sons ups and downs at the moment and just hope and pray that he has peace and joy in his life as well.  I keep a close eye on both my kids and prayer that God gives me what ever I need to proceed with my family in this journey of life.

Hi Patty I will defiantly have you in my prayers you have gone through so much and I really hope and pray that next year will be a year that will give you comfort from all you gone through. Its a fact by your story that walking with God is the best route when in grief. Stay strong and God will provide. Take care Lulu

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