Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

To my wife and father. I love and miss you both sooo much! It will be 3 months soon since I lost you both. The pain inside is at times unbearable. I am sick of restless sleep looing for you in my dreams. Although I don't feel you around, I hope you are watching over me. Help me through these holidays!

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When my husband died just before Christmas 2 years ago, I just went through it for the kids. I understand the sleepless nights, 2 years and I still don't sleep well. And trust me when I say they are looking out for you. Take one day at a time. Grief is a personal thing, and whatever you feel and do is just fine. Many times I just needed to hear, how I felt was okay no matter what.

Thanks, that makes sense. It's hard when people tell me what I should do. I tell them everyone handles things differently. My kids definitely keep me strong.

I am getting to the point where I have no ambition, mostly when the kids are not around but it is getting more and more frequent. Even at work, I'm a GF but I don't want to be. I feel as if I could step down and just be a worker. What's the point now? I have nothing to plan for. I should exercise but can't get myself to do it. I just want to curl up in a ball for a year.

I know that telling you things will change and it will get better, but I also know telling you this does not help now. Just go through the motions of the day, one one day at a time. I am not sure how long this stage will last, but it is normal. I too had difficulty with work, gave up my supervisor job. Responsibility like the children is the easy part, all the rest was tough. I also had the crawl into a ball and make the world go away, except I had the urge to crawl into the closet and close the door. Most people don't talk about all of this so we think we should be doing better, and somehow the actions or thoughts are abnormal rather than part of the process. Everything you are going through is still so fresh, you are not far enough along to see progress. Reaching out is healthy, and those of us on this blog are safe, you can tell us anything and know we understand, no judgement, just caring.

Thank you for listening. I can't help but feel like I am going backwards at times. I went to visit her father yesterday, he's in a nursing home, he is all there but a bit forgetful. He remembers everything about Sam though. That was tough and filled me with emotions both for my wife and father. I would hate to avoid seeing him just because it hurts me. I hope that with time visiting him will be easier.

At first I just could not talk about Michael, but with time I love to listen to all the funny stories the kids like to tell.

hi Joe,

how did the holidays go for you?


me 2 i miss my dad i no its bean 2 yrs 3.3.2012 

Hi.  I am new to this site.  I am sorry for your loss.  I know the feeling and yes the pain is unbearable.  Hopefully if enough people help us all to talk about our losses, it will be rewarding.  I hope that your Christmas was ok.  Nice to know that people care.

xmas i hit boze a bit 2 block iy a bit 2 num pain coz my dads bday wz 26th dec

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