I lost my grandpa in june

[Brendon]

I still haven't gotten over it. I was really close to my grandparents... My grandpa raised me because my mom was always working to support my older brother and i since my dad skipped out on us. I took my first steps to him, he taught me how to read and write... He was healthy, today would have been his birthday. Grandpa Steve would have been sixty seven years old... He had had a minor heart attack on June third, and was sent tovthe hospital. Everything was fine except that he needed a valve replaced in his heart. He died in surgery on June tenth at 5:24pm. I was just.. So numb when we got to the hospital. I saw my niece and sister in law leaving the family area, both crying and telling my mom and i "the doctors don't think he's going to make it". Even typing this now I'm crying really hard. I saw him in the hospital bed after they cleaned him up so we could say goodbye. He was so cold, and he had tubes sticking out of him. He looked so awful, and i couldn't believe that they had killed my grandpa. Everyone told me it was God's plan for him, but what other plans could have been there besides loving his family? I'm a junior in high school now. Days before his surgery he was telling me how excited he was to see me graduate. How, excited he was yo walk my mom down the aisle when she got married next year. And now, i don't even see a reason to live since he isn't here with me. My grandpa was my everything. And i still have my grandma, but she's having to work so she can keep her house now that grandpa is, gone... I just don't know what to do anymore.