GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

I have never felt so alone. It's been almost 2 months since I lost the love of my life unexpectedly. As I've watched everyone move on and their lives return to normal I feel empty and abandoned. I do not have a normal to return to it doesn't exist anymore. And I don't want a New Normal.

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Heather,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of the love of your life.  It's only been 2 months, so it's normal for feelings to still intense.  Do you think it's possible for you to still love and miss the love of your life and take a baby step everyday to find a wee bit of joy?  Just give it some thought.  Communication is key to grief recovery so you're doing a great thing in reaching out.  Please keep on talking and sharing what you are going through.  We have all been in your shoes.  My husband died suddenly in 2004 when our son was 4 years old; that was the inspiration for me starting this site.  My mom went to heaven last year. 

Reach out to other members through the Network, Member Blogs and Forum Chats.  The chat room tends to have more people in it at night.  The Home Page has some good Blog Posts too.  I pray the resources here provide Help for Today & Hope for Tomorrow.  You take good care of yourself.  

God bless,

Judy

i know exactly how you feel not wanting to accept being with our loved one. I my self lost the love of my life unexpectly . We were not together very long but we were extremly happy and no one could take that away. With time you will start to heal for me this site and in person grief groups helped so much. We cant put a time on healing, It took me more than a year to accept and continue on with my life. Some heal sooner some take longer. Everyone grief is different. But try and find healing for yourself and it wont feel so much like a "new normal" just your life.  

Hello...God bless, you are not alone, Jesus is with you forever. Here we have a child home in India, we have 18 orphan children, they are from untouchable community. Please pray for them, they need sponsors for better future.

Heather I understand.  My husband passed two months ago, and I've never felt more alone.  You're right, the world keeps turning and people go back to their normal lives, but we don't have that option.  Our normal is gone forever, and it sucks.  I wish I had answers, but I don't.  I'm still trying to figure out how to live without him.  One thing I'm going to do is move back to California, that's where all my family is.  I live in Indiana right now and I have no one here. I hope you have family near you, that will help.  They say if you keep someone in your heart they're never really gone; I'm not sure if that's true.  It feels very much like he's gone.

June 4th was two months since he passed for me. I am very fortunate in that I'm surrounded by family and friends and his family. Although I found it hard to be around his family right now. I too have felt like he's very much gone and people keep telling me that one day I might look back and see signs of him all around that I may be didn't notice right now. I have had a few drinks with him and I believe that when you have dreams is that some visiting you and they have turned out to be and times when I really needed it. But I think going back to your family and where you have people there for you will really help but nobody really truly understands unless they've been through that situation. I just found out the other day that my step mom has stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer and more than anything it breaks my heart because I know exactly what my dad is going to go through and it's going to be really hard for him. I think you for your reply because it sounds like you're right about where I am and it's good to know that I'm not the only one
Sorry I just read that it says I've had a few drinks and it should have been a few dreams

I could never understand how you feel.  But if it helps...the grief does get softer.  But that takes a while.  Try to find some form of distraction..like, visiting a nursing home, reading the bible, take a friend out to lunch, make arts and crafts. Have a dinner for friends.  Find some one who will let you talk about your love one.  Every time you do that you resurrect good memories and you're never alone.  And focus on the time when you will see him again. Much love.

Yes we are in about the same place.  It's comforting to know that some people understand because they're going through the same thing, not that I would wish this journey on anyone.  Right now I'm just trying to get through Father's Day without a meltdown.  And our anniversary is next week.  I really dread that. 

heather said:

June 4th was two months since he passed for me. I am very fortunate in that I'm surrounded by family and friends and his family. Although I found it hard to be around his family right now. I too have felt like he's very much gone and people keep telling me that one day I might look back and see signs of him all around that I may be didn't notice right now. I have had a few drinks with him and I believe that when you have dreams is that some visiting you and they have turned out to be and times when I really needed it. But I think going back to your family and where you have people there for you will really help but nobody really truly understands unless they've been through that situation. I just found out the other day that my step mom has stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer and more than anything it breaks my heart because I know exactly what my dad is going to go through and it's going to be really hard for him. I think you for your reply because it sounds like you're right about where I am and it's good to know that I'm not the only one

I know Exactly how you feel my husband died 114 days ago...can't believe Im still here...I remember pieces..

I am so sorry for your loss of  your loved one. I joined this chat group for a class that I am taking for my masters degree in nursing. I was reluctant to join because it seems like I am intruding on your personal lives and pain and for that I am truly sorry. I have experienced loss in my 55 years on this earth. my first lost was my parents who abandoned  me at a fire station in 1961, I am, and will always be, dealing with that loss. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. my grandson died 7 days after birth. I still cannot say his name or look at his pictures without melting down. the sadness and loss are so real and he died 14 years ago. just this week one of my dear friends and colleague died unexpectedly  she was my age. this started me questioning my own mortality.  I found myself thinking about the different lifestyle that she lead, what she ate, drank, her sleep pattern etc. I know that the reason for this is my profession. I am always looking for a cure, for a way to prolong life. even though I know that life as well as death is inevitable. one way for you to deal is to make a memory book of your loved one. list the things you liked to do, the places you frequently visited, pictures, favorite quotes. your family and friends could also contribute to this as well. have them write down several things they loved about your loved one. insert this into your book and as you find more thing over the months just add them in. over time you would have collected many wonderful memories to look back on.

I understand about your loneliness. It has been over a year since my husband of 44 years died and I am still so very lonely and have that empty feeling inside. I am blessed to have one adult son and that does help but his life is so busy, so he has little time for me which I understand.  I have tried many things to make a new life but it is very hard and stressful for me. The best thing I have done is adopt a shelter puppy who is now about a year old. Walking at local parks has also been a help for me the movement and nature soothes me in some way. A good friend who had lost her husband said to me do what you need to do to make it through the day. So I still take it one day at a time and do my best. Still agonizing at time.

I lost my husband in April and I feel your emptiness. I am tird of hearing of the new normal that is supposed to happen.  I just want the old normal back!  I too am jealous of those that seem as those they have just been able to move on and I am still stuck in the same grief filled hole as the day he passed.  I am so sorry for you 

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