Lost Father 2 days after Father's Day

[Liesl]

feeling extremely morose over the loss of my father this week, I know it's only 2 days into losing him, but as much as I tell myself he is near, and as much as others say so, it's so much more painful than I thought it ever would be. I witnessed him pass, and I wish I could just erase all the bad memories leading up to him passing. I feel myself wanting to rush myself but then I wax and wane between anger at myself and then anger at him for letting his heart get so bad. I have issues right now with anger, so is there anything anybody can offer as support with dealing with the bad memories and addressing the useless anger? I also actually found myself being angry with MYSELF for being angry at myself. I'm just a complete mess without my dad, and I know he would hate to see me so upset. Please help me figure out a way to cope with reeling emotions and rapid fire of memories, each and every single one at once, the good the bad and the ugly.....

[Lulu]

when we lose a loved one feelings we didnt know exsisted come rushing in from every where and it could be over whelming to the point we dont know what to do. And its okay its a part of grief and loss everyone feels different put we all hurt the same so we could understand how  you feel. Its best to let the feelings in and try and cope with them the best you can if we try and hide them they surface in a later time and make matters worse. Its painful to lose a father and it makes us angry at life and its okay. But we also need to fight for us when the grief becomes despair and depression becomes overwhelming and months becomes years. We lose ourselfs and that is something our loved ones dont want. In time youll find the need to find yourself again and most of the time we find a better us.