I feel responsible for my husbands death. And I am so guilty that I did not pay attention because I was to worried about my job that I couldn’t get enough sleep because he was keeping me up because he was not feeling well. I even gave him some nasty attitude when he told me to go back to our bedroom so I can rest and he will start making breakfast. I asked him to go to the urgent care but I gave up when he said no, he worked on the medical field and he tend to argue because he knows what he is doing, while at work he tried to call me three times ( I forgot that I told him to ring me three times if it’s emergency and at my job we’re not able to pick up the phone) I was too busy too busy of doing other things and when I got home I found him, no life. And when I had a chance to check his phone he even tried to message me but he was not able to send it. I put my game face everyday but I died inside. If I can just go back even to that only moment to at least comfort him. I wanted to tell him that I love him so much and I miss him immeasurably.
Do not blame yourself. Please. We all look back to see what we could of done to save them i do the same. The fact is he was in medical field si if he didnt think it was urgent enough to go. That gave you the ok to move on with u day. Dont blame u self for doung u job. If u couldnt answer the phone thats not u fault u eere doing u job. I blame myself also. My boys blame me for not saving him. I couldnt. God has his reason. Dont think about what u could of done. If he thought he was going to die he woukd of called 911 he called u. Its not u fault. Hes in a better place i know that dont help much. If he thought he was that sick to die .he would have told u hefore u went ti eirk. He woukd if went ti urgent care. So remember these were nit u choices they were his. So dint dint blame u self.