Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

November 26 2017. He had a brain bleed & was only 36. We were less than a month away from celebrating our 1 year anniversary. Now, of course, everything is changing. The worst part is all the emotions. I feel so much guilt about not being able to notice signs that something may have been happening to him in the days prior. I have guilt that I wasn’t home with him when he collapsed on the floor. He was a teacher & it was a weekend so he was due to be tutoring but I later found out he texted the family he tutored for that he wasn’t feeling well. 

It keeps running through my mind if I had been there, would things have been different? My family was in town for thanksgiving so I went to breakfast with them. He wasn’t able to go because he needed to get ready for tutoring & school on Monday.

What do you do with the guilt? I also am angry that this happened when everything was going so well for us & we were going to start our family.

What do you do with the anger? 

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My mom passed away the day after xmas, only a short month ago.  She was 83 and frail and I struggle with the guilt that you're talking about.  I wish there something that we could have done for her.  My sisters and I believe she was done with life and wanted to go be with my dad in heaven but I have a hard time living with the guilt of not being able to help her so I understand how you feel.   

Hi Aimee , so sorry for your loss , I can not imagine your pain and anger. But sometime unforeseen things could happen at any time in our life , and you should not blame yourself for it . Am sure If you would of been
And known the situation you would of been there right away . Am sure your husband would not want you to blame yourself he loved so much . Sometimes horrible things happen in our life and we may feel so bad , but if we find our why these things happen we might have a better understanding . Please feel free to email me if you need to talk to someone , you are not alone . So sorry again for your loss .

Had you known better you would have done things differently right? Do be your own best friend and remind yourself, you could not have known that at 36, your husband was THAT ill. It was the holidays, so being with your family was expected and the usual thing to do. Be kind to yourself and let yourself off the hook hon. I just lost my husband of 20 yrs, 2 months ago, so I know the grief and loss you are going through. I wish you the best

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