GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

So it's been a lil over a year now since my wife died of mixed drug toxicity. She was 32. I never thought that I'd love and depend on someone so much. My life sucks now! I just think and think about her. Every day I cry. I am so sick of this hurt. I keep trying to move on, but I can't. I have even went as far as making something up in my mind so I can hate her. But it's not true, what's true is I'm lost, Im a total mess and I love her more than life itself. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of crying and thinking about what it would be like if she was here. I would sell my soul to be with her again. Just to tell her I'm sorry, tell her what she truely means to me, just to here her say I love you once more. I can not imagine me getting over this. It hurts more that my wife died than when my mom died. But really, I don't know what to do. I hate my life now, I don't see a future, maybe a future of pain.

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when love was strong its so hard to let go. and you never have to let go of what you had with her. but you do have to start thinking of your life your future. we are still in this world and regardless we have to make the best of it. it is a sucky world i have to agree I still cry  everyday and i would do anything to be where he is. but at the same token i have to see for my self and try my hardest to move on and see a happier future. why? because thats what they would want us to do.

so take a peak out the window and you will see its not so bad.

I am with you Shon.  I lost my wife a little over 3 weeks ago.  She was my life. She was my wife, my best friend, the love of my life for 33 years.  We probably weren't apart more than 2 weeks total in the entire 33 years.  When she was in the hospital, I slept in the chair in the room beside her bed even though we lived less than 2 miles away because I did not want to be away from her.

I feel alone, I feel lost, I feel guilty. I don't know hw else I feel other than I know I don't feel right.  I talk to her every day.  I can be okay for a day then just start breaking down for no reason.

Not sure what the answer is and I would be lying if I said I know what you are going thru because each relationship is different.  But to a point, you aren't alone. 



Jim Hancock said:

I am with you Shon.  I lost my wife a little over 3 weeks ago.  She was my life. She was my wife, my best friend, the love of my life for 33 years.  We probably weren't apart more than 2 weeks total in the entire 33 years.  When she was in the hospital, I slept in the chair in the room beside her bed even though we lived less than 2 miles away because I did not want to be away from her.

I feel alone, I feel lost, I feel guilty. I don't know hw else I feel other than I know I don't feel right.  I talk to her every day.  I can be okay for a day then just start breaking down for no reason.

Not sure what the answer is and I would be lying if I said I know what you are going thru because each relationship is different.  But to a point, you aren't alone. 

i lost my partner ,best friend & soul mate Paul,it wasnt a homosexual love but two people who didnt want to be alone, Paul passed away  three weeks ago after bieng in a hospital for almost a year waiting for a heart transplant. we cared so much for each other & planned to go on after the transplant, he didnyt make it, the day he died a big part of me died & im not going to get it back, some days are so bad  i dont think i can go on, the memorys good & bad(bieng hooked up to tubes and all that stuff) haunt me,i dont feel well or normal,  at night tring to sleep is the worst, Its like  a movie that keeps playing in my head & i have to jump up quick, i have good days & some almost as bad as the day Paul passed, he was like my brother, i dont have any friends because i did all with him,  so hard yall to go on,its scary,never had anything like this before!!!!  Ronnie in Va.

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My wife passed 28 days ago like most of you it was just her and i.i don't have any friends so I spend all my time alone I was her caregiver for seven years right up until she passed not sure what to do next being with her is all I know we were together 37 years and I sure as hell don't see me getting over this all I have are bad days and nights it's getting real hard to handle

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