GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Hi, my name is mickey, and think I may be about to lose my mind. I lost my husband, my best friend, and lover this febuary 16th. Four days after my 62nd birthday, and five days before our 25th anniversary, to cancer. I was his only care taker until hospice stepped in and helped 4 months before he passed. I was his everything for his last three years. He was totally helpless, and I watched him deteriorate from a robust tall big man of 287lbs, to a tiny shadow of himself passing at less than 140lbs. He couldn't speak, roll himself, and because of a trach, lived on liquid supplement the last 18months of his life. It was a horror show. In the time since, my youngest son,(one of three)has bullied me over and over for money. Destroyed my home when I say no. Totalled my car, and calls me names that no son should call his mother or anyone. He is a meth addict. I haven't been able to grieve for my ed, as I am too busy living in fear of the monster I birthed, and protecting what little money I have. My other kids try to protect me, but they have families of their own and can't protect me 100% of the time. Please don't suggest I have him arrested. That is not an option. I pray for relief from him, but so far these prayers have had no return, though I haven't lost faith. I am at a loss, as what to do, and am rapidly losing the will to live. I am NOT suicidal. I have simply lost my will to go on.

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Hi Michelle,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband after a long illness with cancer.  My heart also aches for the added pain your are enduring from your son, which makes your grief process a more complicated.  Thank you for sharing your story.  Communication is key to grief recovery so you have made a BIG first step in reaching out to others who know how you feel.    

All members here have empathy for what you are going through.  I'm recovering from the loss of my mother in February.   My husband passed away in 2004 and I started this site to help others a few years ago.  Please reach out to other members through the Network, Member Blogs and Forum Chats.  The chat room tends to have more people in it at night.  The Home Page has some good Blog Posts too.  I pray the resources here provide Help for Today & Hope for Tomorrow.  You take good care of yourself.  BIG hug!    

God bless,

Judy

Founding member

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