I'm so sorry for your loss and can honestly say I know how you feel. I lost my only daughter in 1998 as the result of a car accident. She and I kicked her dad out just a month before she died. After her death we got back together. All our martial problems went out the window after she died. But our marriage didn't last. We divorced a few years later. Alcohol was involved. I quit drinking the day she died. Her dad and I had to make a difficult decision to take her of life support after she went through 8 hours of surgery. Now users later and after the past few years of big changes in my life I find myself drinking again and going thru this grief thing more and more. I remarried 4 years ago and now this grief is taking a toll in our marriage. His son's wife just had twin girls in May. I can't get excited because they're not really my blood granddaughters. I'll never have grandchildren. Plus the real grandmothers sort of disregard me. This is something I knew would happen when I married him but didn't think that far ahead. Anyway thanks for listening and I pay you find follow in knowing you'll see them again. Take care