Lulu's Posts - GriefHope2024-03-29T09:57:51ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Luluhttp://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1550729866?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1http://griefhope.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=2mazqarvo138g&xn_auth=noSpecial Day!tag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-07-16:6407267:BlogPost:229952014-07-16T19:03:12.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877143?profile=original" target="_self"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877143?profile=original" width="348"></img></a></p>
<p>Special Day!</p>
<p></p>
<p>The Earth and Moon came out to celebrate your special day no else could say the same. Looks like they also enjoy the hockey game, I look forward to chocolate cake.</p>
<p>Balloons decorate the universe, angels will sing a birthday verse, as soon as the game is over don't you curse! In our afterlife we are two damn happy cartoons exactly as…</p>
<p><a target="_self" href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877143?profile=original"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877143?profile=original" width="348"/></a></p>
<p>Special Day!</p>
<p></p>
<p>The Earth and Moon came out to celebrate your special day no else could say the same. Looks like they also enjoy the hockey game, I look forward to chocolate cake.</p>
<p>Balloons decorate the universe, angels will sing a birthday verse, as soon as the game is over don't you curse! In our afterlife we are two damn happy cartoons exactly as we were on earth.</p>
<p>Lulu</p>
<p>Dedicated to Jeff Muller 12/12/13</p>Wounded Birdtag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-07-12:6407267:BlogPost:230782014-07-12T07:22:28.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
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<p>Wounded Bird</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I mourn you today as I did yesterday and will do tomorrow</p>
<p>I mourn each day with the sunrise as I open my eyes,</p>
<p>I feel emptiness in my heart like a sharp knife! Tears fill my life.</p>
<p>Not one day that I don’t cry since you been gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I thought by now I’d be dry inside ready to die.</p>
<p>Memories of you…</p>
<p><a target="_self" href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562876634?profile=original"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562876634?profile=original" width="343"/></a></p>
<p>Wounded Bird</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I mourn you today as I did yesterday and will do tomorrow</p>
<p>I mourn each day with the sunrise as I open my eyes,</p>
<p>I feel emptiness in my heart like a sharp knife! Tears fill my life.</p>
<p>Not one day that I don’t cry since you been gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I thought by now I’d be dry inside ready to die.</p>
<p>Memories of you sitting by the bed side like a</p>
<p>wounded bird! Why was I blinded it was blurred.</p>
<p>You flew away to a better place. You been saved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At nights I whisper come back to me if only for a while</p>
<p>waiting on a ghost to comfort me pull the knife out.</p>
<p>Wanting to fall but standing on my feet. My strength is</p>
<p> the courage of my faith my heart will continue to beat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lulu</p>
<p></p>
<p>Dedicated to Jeff Muller 12/12/13</p>Your Eyestag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-06-24:6407267:BlogPost:226842014-06-24T03:00:00.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877342?profile=original" target="_self"><img class="align-center" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877342?profile=original" width="372"></img></a></p>
<p align="center" style="text-align: center;">Your Eyes</p>
<p align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p align="center" style="text-align: center;">What a beautiful view I had in November!</p>
<p align="center" style="text-align: center;">It was blue as the clear sky and tender.</p>
<p align="center" style="text-align: center;">Eye lashes as long as the sun…</p>
<p><a target="_self" href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877342?profile=original"><img class="align-center" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877342?profile=original" width="372"/></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">Your Eyes</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">What a beautiful view I had in November!</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">It was blue as the clear sky and tender.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">Eye lashes as long as the sun could set,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">as gorgeous as a sunrise in May.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">Your eyes were intimating.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center"> As deep as the blue ocean dancing with waves,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center"> I could dive in them each day.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">Your stare was more than I could bear,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">I want to see your eyes today, tomorrow and yesterday.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">Lulu</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"></p>My Progresstag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-05-13:6407267:BlogPost:217582014-05-13T08:45:26.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
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<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">May 12<sup>th</sup></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Time flew and so did his memorial balloon, fifth month since Jeff been gone. I did a lot of thinking and a lot crying mostly wondering what the future holds for me. I do see a bit of progress it’s been two months since the body ache went away so I’m hopeful for a better future. All tho I still wake…</p>
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<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">May 12<sup>th</sup></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Time flew and so did his memorial balloon, fifth month since Jeff been gone. I did a lot of thinking and a lot crying mostly wondering what the future holds for me. I do see a bit of progress it’s been two months since the body ache went away so I’m hopeful for a better future. All tho I still wake up wondering why I have to face another day, by midday I feel better and nights are not so painful.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I set Jeff memorial balloon free at night this time with his note attached and a kiss enclosed. His balloon headed towards the moon with a slow staggering past, wiggling about like it didn’t want to leave but was taking the journey anyway. It made me laugh seeing it wobble also made me feel guilty that I was forcing the poor balloon to take my love note on such a long journey. As slow as it was going I blinked my eyes and I lost its sight.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I hope everyone is seeing better progress we all grief different and we all heal different. Being in the site talking to people and sharing my story has help in many ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> I know in my heart we will all be with our loved ones in a better place. But for now this earth has so much to offer let’s not watch it spin while we stand still.</p>Ticket 10-60-54tag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-04-22:6407267:BlogPost:210342014-04-22T07:06:42.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
<p>Jeff passed away two days after I wrote this poem it was the first of many to come. He was ill from the first day I met him, and he did a great job of hiding his pain from me. I think in his mind it was something that would eventually go away with time. The last weekend we spend together he was weak and I remember feeling darkness around me and complete sadness still the hints didn’t became available until after his death. The following weekend we had dinner plans with friends of mine. When…</p>
<p>Jeff passed away two days after I wrote this poem it was the first of many to come. He was ill from the first day I met him, and he did a great job of hiding his pain from me. I think in his mind it was something that would eventually go away with time. The last weekend we spend together he was weak and I remember feeling darkness around me and complete sadness still the hints didn’t became available until after his death. The following weekend we had dinner plans with friends of mine. When I arrived at his home his car was parked and the door to his place was unlocked he was nowhere to be seen. His phone was off. I found out later he had been taken by ambulance to the hospital that morning. Twelve days passed and I had not heard from him. It was a new relationship and I didn’t know his family, everyone he knew lived out of state. I called hospitals in the hope of finding him with no luck. I also played with the notion that he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. But something inside my heart told me this outcome was very wrong. In the form of all the madness my mind was going through I wrote this poem. Three days later I received a call he had passed away.</p>
<p>December 10, 2013</p>
<p>Ticket 10-60-54<br/> (Highway, miles and distance)</p>
<p>Ticket to a journey <br/> where an end is near <br/> a dream short lived <br/> in your arms is feared.</p>
<p>"Riding the crazy train" <br/> that's what he said. <br/> You get a free pass <br/> come on board my way.</p>
<p>Night train roaring with happiness. <br/> Day train overheating with joy. <br/> Lovers living the passion <br/> which comes to an emergency holt.</p>
<p>Man-made coated decease<br/> are the railroad tracks<br/> this crazy train leaves. <br/> Took us on a freight ride<br/> in a cold autumn night. <br/> The ride is long and bitter<br/> we must jump.</p>
<p>You're left with silence<br/> your image is lost <br/> you left me behind<br/> you're gone!</p>
<p>Didn't have time to wave goodbye!<br/> Ticket 10-60-54 is torn to pieces<br/> My lips will never feel his kisses.</p>
<p>Crazy train came and gone!<br/> Another train lost in the<br/> railroads of vinosity.</p>
<p>Lulu</p>Silver Balloontag:griefhope.ning.com,2014-04-15:6407267:BlogPost:208792014-04-15T07:55:07.000ZLuluhttp://griefhope.ning.com/profile/Lulu
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877114?profile=original" target="_self"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877114?profile=original" width="571"></img></a> April 12th marks the fourth month of the passing of the man I spend a brief time with. It was a wonderful relationship as new relationships usually are. Being with him even if it was a short time was wonderful. And his death turned my life upside down in ways I would have never imagined. All the beautiful emotions are left inside with no one to share them with. Felt as if I…</p>
<p><a target="_self" href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877114?profile=original"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1562877114?profile=original" width="571"/></a>April 12th marks the fourth month of the passing of the man I spend a brief time with. It was a wonderful relationship as new relationships usually are. Being with him even if it was a short time was wonderful. And his death turned my life upside down in ways I would have never imagined. All the beautiful emotions are left inside with no one to share them with. Felt as if I was left standing in a dark hole. I blinked my eyes and he was gone. So many plans left undone. So much pain left inside.</p>
<p>Every twelve of the month I release a single balloon with a note attached. April brought a Silver Star balloon. It was a windy day in Los Angeles and the sunset rays hit the balloon as it flew up high. It felt soothing it was peaceful, help release some pain.</p>
<p>Silver Star</p>
<p>A silver star balloon was April's pick<br/> I stamped my kiss, tied my warm note <br/> set it free on a sunny windy day<br/> to commemorate your memory.</p>
<p>The rays of the sunset shinned the <br/> balloon as it went up high heading<br/> east. I could see it glow like two <br/> little eyes blinking goodbye.</p>
<p>It was soothing to the heart to see it <br/> fly! See it free! Dancing with the wind.<br/> Heading east as I use to be, it knew<br/> exactly where you lived.<br/> Lulu<br/> Dedicated to Jeff Muller 12/12</p>