GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

May 2015 Blog Posts (7)

Being

Wanted: 1 human allotment of joy, gone missing about 10 months ago, deeply missed.  Glimpsed briefly on occasion but darted away again.  If seen, grab it and hold on tightly. 

Joy.  What does it mean?  How do we find it and better question, how to we hang on to it?  A couple of months back, some of my family and I were on a shuttle bus, being transported like cattle from one end to the other of a resort along with a couple of other families.  Most of the riders were lost in their own…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 28, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Woman 1, World Zip

Ever try to zip up a back zipper?  It’s almost impossible.  I mean, I’m sure there is a way to accomplish that but hell if I can figure it out  And now I have this itch in the middle of my back that I cannot reach. For weeks. It’s so annoying.  I’ve stretched and tried to reach it without success.  I’ve used a brush, a kitchen utensil (for those of you who have eaten in my house, don’t worry-the dishwasher has a sanitizer setting), and even rubbed up against a door frame. Like a bear…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 23, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Seasons

This is a difficult time of year; late winter, very early spring when everything is dry and brown.  I’ve never liked it.  I find my eyes scouring the countryside, trees, and ditches, thirsty for a glimpse of green with a kind of desperation.  There is a deep seated need to feel refreshed and reborn.  To see hope manifest.  And the thing is, if you don’t watch carefully, you’ll miss it.  It seems like suddenly, the grass is green, flowers are starting to come up, and the trees are misted with…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 18, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

How to Cope?

I am struggling with the loss of my step-dad unexpectedly and them my Grandma passed away unexpectedly. I was closer to my step-dad as my mother and him moved across town from us. I feel like being in the medical field I let him down.



I would do lunch and spend time with my grandma as often as I could. I called her on February 11th and made plans for lunch on February 20th. She was happy and said she had been feeling well. Within 4 hours my uncle called and my grandma was gone. How… Continue

Added by Lacey on May 15, 2015 at 8:42pm — 1 Comment

Riptide

I cried on an airplane today. It was humiliating. Why? Why was I crying or why was it humiliating? WTF WTF WTF. I am on a plane to Costa Rica, a place I’ve wanted to visit for many years, and I am alone. I am projecting this secure, accomplished woman sitting in first class sipping wine but, the reality is that I am a very sad, lonely woman who can think about nothing more than the sheer delight of the plane crashing so I can be with him again. Stupid, I know, but I can’t help it. Would I…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 13, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Table for One

Why is a woman looked upon with suspicion (or worse, pity) when she [fill in the blank] by herself.  I don’t mean to assume a victim mentality, but why is it ok for a man to dine by himself, see a movie, or, God forbid, go into a bar and have a drink by himself?  Why is a woman incredibly pathetic or looking for trouble when she does the same thing? 

I am so bored.  Down to my very bone marrow.  Is that completely awful?  I know – I’m supposed to be mourning and don’t ever doubt for a…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 8, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Comfortably Numb

Warning!  Flashbacks ahead.  June 8, 2014.  The day dawned, bright and clear in North Dakota.  I was on my way home, having gotten up before the crack of dawn, to begin the last leg of my journey back from a Canadian fishing trip.  I had been gone for over a week, and was anxious to get back home to my husband.  We had spoken on the phone the night before, late, after I got back into the country and settled into my hotel room.  We talked about basically nothing, and our parting words to each…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on May 3, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

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