It's been 19 days since you last looked at me. It's been 19 days since you spoke to me. 19 days. It feels like yesterday but nope I counted it's been 19days since I lost you. You told me it would be 3 and a half months but it was only 19 days. 21 days is how long you got and 19 days ago you left. I hate this. I just want to talk to you and to see you and to hear your voice again. Every time I go to dads I think about you. It makes me sad. I feel like shit for feeling like shit. I'm tired of hearing I'm sorry I'm tired of hearing that it was for the best. I'm tired of being strong. You would be calling me and checking on me to make sure I'm okay. But no one has done that. I feel to weird to call people because I don't do that.