Children with Divorced Parents

[Kristen Sutich]

We can barely go a week without hearing about a celebrity divorce in the media.  Most of us have family members or friends that are divorced.  Some of us have been through divorce ourselves. 

As a teacher, I always appreciated it when the parents of my students would let me know when a big change was taking place in their family.  One change that occurred more frequently was parents separating or getting divorced.  Sometimes just knowing that helped me understand why a student was quieter than usual, or looked sad, or wasn't participating as much as usual. 

As the teacher, I spent all day with these children, so if I noticed something different about a student, I could share this with the child's parents.  For example, if the student wasn't turning in their homework as they usually had, I could let the parents know this.  If the child is now spending time at two different homes, the parents will want to have a plan for helping their child complete any homework given that day whether the child is with mom or dad that evening or week.

The children and parents are likely grieving the change in their family.  The adults involved may be feeling added stress, overwhelm and sadness.  One thing that can really help a child during this period of change, is having both parents maintain as much of the child's routine and schedule as possible.  Keeping bedtimes and getting up times as close to normal as possible will help.  The communication between the two parents will be really important, especially when it comes to their child and school.  Making sure both parents are aware of school events and important dates will help your child feel more comfortable. 

[Judy Davidson]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Kristen.  My husband passed away, but I understand that going through a divorce is like going through the grieving process as well.  My dad also died when I was 9 many years ago when divorce wasn't as common.  I always felt different, or 'less than' my friends who had both parents; a normal family.  I always felt they were the lucky ones.  some of your students may feel the same way.  Best of luck in your continued role as a teacher.  We need more good ones like you!

Judy