i dont understand

[lawrence christopher beck]

In june of 2015 i was working and was just about to do shift change when my friend comes out and tells me he needs to talk to me. kind of confused with the look on his face i knew that something had to be wrong, so i asked him is this about julie, my fiance. he looked at me and with tears in his eyes he said there was an accident and she didnt make it, my whole live turned upside down at that moment, i felt like i was in a terrible nightmare that wouldnt end. my fiance put herself in harms way to save another persons live the person she wanted to help was saved, but she was killed instantly two weeks after her funeral, i recieved a strange phone call which i cant go in to detail about but all i can say is there is still un answered questions. Now i am a Christ follower ive been saved for many years and i dont want to get mad at God but there are times especially lately where i find myself questioning why God would let me go through this, i have tried to go through councilng but I feel as if i am being a burden on people when i talk about my feelings.

[Judy Davidson]

Lawrence,

Welcome to Grief Hope Network and thank you for sharing your story and your feelings.  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your fiance.  Feel free to virtually scream, rant and rage here; we all get it. It was a slow process for me after my husband died also.  You have made a BIG first step in reaching out to others who know how you feel.  Grief always waits, so it's never too late to start the process of dealing and healing.   

All members here have empathy for what you are going through.  I'm recovering from the loss of my mother in February.   My husband passed away in 2004 and I started this site to help others a few years ago.  Please reach out to other members through the Network, Member Blogs and Forum Chats.  The chat room tends to have more people in it at night.  The Home Page has some good Blog Posts too.  I pray the resources here provide Help for Today & Hope for Tomorrow.  You take good care of yourself.  BIG hug!    

God bless,

Judy

Founding member