GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

I lost my cousin, Kieron, in August 2015. He was 21 years old and was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Lukemia in December 2014. He was my best friend and my inspiration. After the many months of chemo and medicine he had a bone marrow transplant that had a 100% match, meaning he had a high chance of survival. But unfortunately this did mean anything. Being only 13 years old, nearly 14, and will be staring my GCSEs in September, i am going under a major amount of stress. I have no idea how to cope with his death and hope someone can help. I constantly feel depressed, anxious and my self esteem has fallen majorly.  I have started counselling but feel as if it doesn't help much. I feel if i talk to someone going through the same emotions as me it will help me understand how to cope with the pain i am going through.

Thank you.

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Comment by Judy Davidson on July 10, 2016 at 10:51pm

Hi Emily,

Welcome to Grief Hope Network and thank you for sharing your story and your feelings.  I am so sorry to hear about your cousin.  Feel free to share however you're feeling; we all get it. It was a slow process for me after my husband died also.  You have made a BIG first step in reaching out to others who know how you feel.  Grief always waits, so it's never too late to start the process of dealing and healing.   

All members here have empathy for what you are going through.  I'm recovering from the loss of my mother in February.   My husband passed away in 2004 and I started this site to help others a few years ago.  Please reach out to other members through the Network, Member Blogs and Forum Chats.  The chat room tends to have more people in it at night.  The Home Page has some good Blog Posts too.  I pray the resources here provide Help for Today & Hope for Tomorrow.  You take good care of yourself.  BIG hug!    

God bless,

Judy

Founding member

Comment by lycka on August 3, 2016 at 7:22am
I don't know exactly how it feels to lose a best friend. I lost my mom just this July. Everyone grieves differently, but it seems that we're going through the same cycles of feelings.

What I've told my sisters the same age as you is that you should feel the pain as much as you can. I haven't really gotten a good grip with all my feelings, but I reckon that it's healthy to let your feelings come on the surface. Whatever you experience, sadness, anger, fright, anxiety, whatever they are, all of them are important and valid. Don't let them get stuck and fester inside you. It'll be difficult, I know; I feel in pain even when I'm not actively feeling much. But don't refuse yourself to process this. You'll survive this, we both will, as others have survived the death of their loved ones. This has been happening since the beginning of humanity.

Also, another thing that made me feel better. I don't know what exactly you believe in, but it's very understandable to have one's faith shaken up in times like this. But this is what I think: we don't truly disappear when we die. I think we just transform into something else. Beyond our bodies, which die, like all other organic things on earth die. But we are life. electrical impulses firing in different ways in our brains. And when we die, where do those electrical impulses go? That is how we function when we live. Life is energy, we are energy, and according to the law of conservation of energy, energy is neither created nor destroyed, only transformed from one form to another. So I'd like to think that we are not really gone when we die. We transform. I don't know into what. But it's physics and what does our universe follow if it's not physical laws? I like this thought because it bridges science and spirituality.

I know things are awful and confusing, but we'll be okay. I don't think this is how it will always be.

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