Loss of a mother

[Ava]

Hi. I lost my mother a year and and a half ago to cancer. She had stage 4 colon cancer and as it got worse she grew lung cancer. I was the one to take care of her a lot. I've seen so much for only being 12 when she left me. I've sat in a hospital room for many hours at night. I've prayed in a hospital more than I have in church My mom was told she only had 18 months to live. But was so strong she lived for 4 years. In those 4 years she did everything with me and my sister. Niagra falls, Disney, 2 cruises, family vacations to Maine and New Hampshire. My mom was my everything. I find myself crying a lot at night. I get very upset,sad,depressed,angry and so much more. My father is not a big help on my part. I have trouble talking to him All the time.... Me being a teenage girl with only a dad really sucks sometimes. I feel lonely at night. I cry for hours lacking sleep and having to get up so early the next morning to only deal with more unnecessary stuff in school. the kids,the work, the teachers. It all sickens me. If anyone has a similar situation please feel free to reach out to me. I would love the help or any ideas to help my grieving process. :(

[Sam]

I'm sorry you lost your mom , I lost my dad to cancer almost the same kinds your mom had , there's no right way to deal with how your heart feels right now , I hope if you don't feel comfortable talking to your dad about your feelings , I hope you have someone else in person that will listen to you when you need to talk , Im 25 and losing my dad has turned my very happy life into a totally different sad journey , and everyday I try to cope and move forward , all I can say before I end this is i really am sorry you loss your mom , just from what you said she sounds like an amazing person to me.

[arrow]

I lost my mom when I was 10, that was 42 yrs ago. Reading your post, I slipped back there I understand your pain, our family pet became my confidant. Don't hold any of your pain in let it out its ok. Is there a good church you can join, ask your father if his health insurance has counseling, most of them offer some kind of mental health coverage. ( Don't think mental health is a stigma it covers a vast array of issues. ) As for your dad remember he to has suffered a great loss and now he has acquired a great responsibility. He is lost too, be loving and understanding, he will respond in the same way. I raised a daughter and trust me dad's don't know all when it comes to their little girls. Cry and grieve with him, there are so many things I wish I could talk to my dad about now that I didn't understand then but i can't he passed when i was 27. Try not to fight, scream, or take your pain out on him,again remember his pain runs deep too. 12 such a young age to be thrust into such great loss, don't try to make sense of it now you have the rest of your life to do that. I know this is hard but you need to focus on your life, get your ducks a row
I let my mother's death rule every aspect of my life from 10 on. I gave up, I had no drive and now hind site being 20/20 I wish I wouldn't of been that way. I know it's hard, it will never be easy ,but it dosent have to be all consuming either. I wish I were your neighbors so we could talk, your post was almost a mirror image of what I went thru. A lot of hospital time, away from home, friends, school. I would really like to stay in touch with you to help guide you and understand all of the painful emotions you are experiencing now and others that you will have in the future. Above all remember your dad may not be much of a talker but he does love you and his heart is shattered too
. Please stay in touch, you just made a life long friend as I said your story took me back, my heart broke, 12 is an awful age to loose a parent, though no age is good. Arrow :)