Lost

[India]

The closer it gets to the one year anniversary of my husbands death the worse i get.....I have buried my grief many times over even pushed myself into a relationship months after he was gone because i couldn't bare the thought of being alone.....I have lost my way I try to maintain my life and have tried to get myself back...but i can i have lost numerous jobs failed going back to school....no matter what i do i just cant overcome this....I feel like im living in a false reality where nothing is real its just a cover to make myself feel like im ok...but im not im not ok no matter how much i want to be .....my smile is gone its not the same my happiness has been taken it wont come back the same way....everything is not ok....

[Kathy Anne Saada]

India, I am feeling those exact same feelings. It was my 30 yr old daughter Amanda I lost, not a husband... but the feelings of absolute emptiness and inability to get past this terrible pain won't seem to let go of my heart.Know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you as I hope others will do for me as well. We are all here seeking friendship, understanding, and solace. I hope we can bring all these things to one another!