GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Lost My Mother To Cancer Last Week...

My name is Brandon, I am 25 years old. I lost my mother who was 59 to terminal cancer last week. I was taking care of her at home in hospice care, i was the full time caregiver. I lost my dad when i was young. I feel like i lost the only person who cares about me, loves me. We were extremely close, she was my best friend. I've been so sick since she passed. And i think about it all day, i held her hand as she took her last couple breaths and looked into her eyes as they stayed open. It's so hard right now, i dont know what to think. Cant eat or sleep, im writing this because im hoping venting might help me or maybe someone who has gone through this can talk to me. Man it hurts so bad...

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Comment by babycakes on October 3, 2013 at 7:14am

Hi Brandon,

I wanted to reach out to you after reading your blog.  I want to encourage you  and let you know you've handled a great deal for being such a young man. I pictured My son who is 20 and I dont know how he would cope with a lost of this magnitude alone. I would hope someone would be there for him so I am writing you to let you know I am here to listen and care... heres a little of My story.  I just joined this network last month because I am dealing with overcoming loneliness after loss. I am 48 years old and January 11, 2013 I lost my mom to paneratic cancer with the help of hospice home care in which I was her caregiver . I also held my moms hand and saw her last breaths with eyes and mouth still open. Yes, Its a hunting memory that will fade as you intentionally you replace that though with one of your more happier memories of her. Also what helped me was reaching out to my hospice group and joining their free grief support meeting. After meeting with other people who was dealing with the same experiences help me to cope with those final images of my mom. (may it will help you as well).

My dad passed away 5 years ago suddenly in heart surgery. And even though I am older than you I can't imagine dealing with loss of my parents at your age. I know your pain of losing them is overwhelming. Brandon dont give up. My grief counselor says "grief is an expression of the depth of how much you loved someone. She says its a journey we take doing it by trying to take it one day at a time".

As you already know grief  is uncomfortable.  It’s the hardest thing you will ever have to go through. But just know you are not alone.  The bereavement family is the largest family on earth and we have just joined it. We are adult orphans. The Lord is our help, our strength, and our parents now. he said he would never leave or forsake us.

I read a care note and it really helped me a little. It gave me some of the tools to cope with it says.  But be gentle with yourself as you experience the effs and flows of grieving. Brandon, try calling the hospice nurse who helped you with your mom and she can help you get the support you need to help you make it through this trying time because you cant do it alone. If she cant help as to speak to some one who can help.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Comment by maryellenmcquown on December 14, 2013 at 5:09pm

i know your pain it hurts that is true i am here for you 

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