New to this!

[brittnee storm]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this and I just wanted to share my story. My name is Brittnee. I was born in Detroit, MI on April 27, 1993 to both my mother and father (who have now been married 22 years.) Anyways, what was so special about that day for them was not only my birth but also my twin sister Ashlee's as well. Yes!! I had the wonderful blessing of being a twin. We grew up in Roseville, MI. Ashlee and I shared a bond, a relationship nobody ever understood because we fought a LOT. People would always say we were the exact opposite which is I guess rare. But, we shared a different kind of bond one that was within our souls. I always could tell how she was feeling, when she was lying I knew. On April 14, 2014 I lost my soul. My sister passed unexpectedly. My whole world feels like it has shattered. She was 2 weeks shy of 21. We had plans for our birthday, of course we were going to party..we had plans to move away together. And I thank God that a few weeks before she passed, Ashlee and I got along SO GREAT. Which was rare. But I was happy. The day before she passed we had a lot of fun. Just laughing. watching funny videos, driving around blaring music, I made her lasagna for dinner because that was what she wanted and we watched breaking bad all night on Netflix. I just feel so empty inside, I literally have stopped caring about pretty much anything. I have always been a realty strong person and I was at first. Whenever I'm alone or just thinking I break down. .I find myself heading towards her room sometimes or wanting to call for her and then realizing she isn't there. Even after a month, her clothes are in the laundry and I just break down. People say everything happens for a reason but what could that be. I honestly don't know how to deal with this. They say the pain never goes away but it gets easier,  I honestly think its getting worse..everyday is a struggle to get out of bed, to do anything. Everyday I wake up hoping that I had a horrible nightmare. I literally feel like apart of me is missing. I feel like I am not whole...like my soul has been taken from me and there isn't anything left of me. I pray this gets better.

[Judy Davidson]

Hi Britnee,

I am so sorry to hear about your twin sister.  You're right; a part of you is missing.  That's how I felt after my husband died.  Grief sucks!  Thank you for sharing your story and feelings.  I do know that communication is key to recovery, so you made a good first step.  Feel free to reach out to other members here and in the chat room.  Read the blogs on the main page and book recommendations. It was the combination of these along with a local grief group and supportive friends and family (and time!) that helped.

All the best,

Judy Davidson

Founding GHN member

P.S. I grew up near where you live - Northville, Mi.

   

[Lulu]

its the beginning of your journey. its not an easy one as we all know this. but i hope you could find comfort in family and friends. We are also here if you need to talk. My prayers are with you for strength .