GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Hi All,

I joined this site a long time ago but have been inactive with it.  In five days it will be the first anniversary of my husband's death (Tom - who else?) at barely age 66.  I'm in a really awful place right now - he suffered so much with pancreatic cancer - I was his full time caregiver.  This August will be our 40th wedding anniversary.  Right now I'm not coping well.  It has been a year of MISERY and surprises with no sign of that ever changing.  When you have the best, there is no hope of ever being that fulfilled again.

I'm getting out of town on the actual anniversary date and doing something that I know he would approve of.  I just don't see any happiness in my future as a possibility.

Has anyone else lost their soul mate recently?

Views: 55

Comment by Judy Davidson on April 2, 2014 at 10:32pm

Hi Michele,

THanks for sharing.  My husband died 10 years ago and I know that all the firsts (and 2nd's) can be hard.  Getting out of town sounds like a great idea; anything to help get your mind on something other than your grief for a while is always a good thing - like changing routines etc.  Please reach out to others on the site through the chat room etc.  I think Lulu lost her soulmate recently and she is often in the chat room.

Take care,

Judy  

Comment by Lulu on April 2, 2014 at 11:12pm

Hi Michele

so sorry to hear about your loss and the continued pain you are facing. He sounds like a wonderful man and when the wonderful men in this world leave us it hurts so much more. Especially when this world is filled with men not worth the time. We wonder why the good ones leave us. I had a wonderful man for a short time, I wish it would have been 39 years but I didn't have that gift given to me. You were blessed, hold on to that. You were given what many woman could only hope for. I know it doesn't make the grief any less in our situation nothing makes it less painful . But always remember your wonderful man with a smile because you were blessed.

Enjoy your trip you deserve it .

Comment by Michele on April 3, 2014 at 7:56pm

Dear Lulu,

Thank you for your kind words.  I am so sorry that you didn't have more time with your beloved - I know I am very lucky that way.  I was 17 when we married and would not be here today if it hadn't been for him.  I felt he was my one and only source of unconditional love.  I don't know how God expects me to get by without him. 

What is your love's name?  I would love to hear all about him when you wish to talk.  I'm sure he was really wonderful from the way you talk about him.  There is at least some joy in being able to talk about them (for me) - it keeps him alive in my life and fills me with pride.

I am so sorry for your loss.  It feels good though, to talk to others who know exactly what your going through and facing in your life.

God Bless, Michele

Comment by Michele on April 3, 2014 at 8:01pm

Hi Judy,

Thanks for writing back.  I'm afraid that I'm really computer illiterate in a lot of ways!  I will try to download (upload?) a picture at some point.

Thank you for sharing - I can't even imagine myself in 10 years without Tom.  You are an inspiration and I am grateful for that.

Comment by Judy Davidson on April 3, 2014 at 11:58pm

You will survive, Michele.  One day at a time, I promise.  Thank you for your kind words and your appreciation and feeling better keeps me and this site going.  

Comment by Dominick Pistocchi on April 6, 2014 at 10:47am

i am very sorry for your loss,my mother passed away on 2/14,its been difficult to go on,there are times when i just start to cry,when it feels so hard and i wonder why????did this happen,i argued with god a lot when Theresa was terminal,what do you want my mommy for,take me and let her live,how i hope you are alright your husband sounds like a wonderful man,oh he is in heaven where else can he be????i will offer a prayer for him when i pray for my mother please take care always

Comment by Jo-Anne Bousquet on May 3, 2014 at 4:41am

Hi Michele...so sorry for your loss.....yes I recently lost my soulmate..March,31,2014. The day before his 53rd bday. Instead of planning a b'day party we were planning his funeral. We were both school bus drivers for the same company.He was in his bus waiting to leave on his run. His monitor found him sitting in his seat. They tried everything they could even the defribulator....but it was no use. It's like a bad dream. Going to the hospital and them telling me I'm sorry we did all we could. It just wasn't real and still isn't. We were raising my 3 yr old granddaughter together and he was awesome with her, Best buds. I wake up in the mornings sick to my stomach  and shake all over. I still haven't put his clothes away and I haven't slept in the bed. No matter what anyone says all I can think of is wanting him back with me.He was and will always be my everything I agree when you had the best what else is there? God bless us all until we can be in their arms again.....

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