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Jeff passed away two days after I wrote this poem it was the first of many to come. He was ill from the first day I met him, and he did a great job of hiding his pain from me. I think in his mind it was something that would eventually go away with time. The last weekend we spend together he was weak and I remember feeling darkness around me and complete sadness still the hints didn’t became available until after his death. The following weekend we had dinner plans with friends of mine. When I arrived at his home his car was parked and the door to his place was unlocked he was nowhere to be seen. His phone was off. I found out later he had been taken by ambulance to the hospital that morning. Twelve days passed and I had not heard from him. It was a new relationship and I didn’t know his family, everyone he knew lived out of state. I called hospitals in the hope of finding him with no luck. I also played with the notion that he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. But something inside my heart told me this outcome was very wrong. In the form of all the madness my mind was going through I wrote this poem. Three days later I received a call he had passed away.

December 10, 2013

Ticket 10-60-54
(Highway, miles and distance)

Ticket to a journey
where an end is near
a dream short lived
in your arms is feared.

"Riding the crazy train"
that's what he said.
You get a free pass
come on board my way.

Night train roaring with happiness.
Day train overheating with joy.
Lovers living the passion
which comes to an emergency holt.

Man-made coated decease
are the railroad tracks
this crazy train leaves.
Took us on a freight ride
in a cold autumn night.
The ride is long and bitter
we must jump.

You're left with silence
your image is lost
you left me behind
you're gone!

Didn't have time to wave goodbye!
Ticket 10-60-54 is torn to pieces
My lips will never feel his kisses.

Crazy train came and gone!
Another train lost in the
railroads of vinosity.

Lulu

Views: 33

Comment by Judy Davidson on April 22, 2014 at 11:44pm

Wow - thank you for sharing your story with us Lulu.  I'm so sorry that Jeff died when your relationship was so new.  It sounds like you deeply cared for one another.  The hard part to your recovery is there are probably questions that may never be answered, but you can come to your own conclusions in your own time.  I hope you find comfort.  Your poem is beautiful and heart felt.  It shos the depth of emotion you felt for one another.  God bless.  Thank you for being there for others on this site.

Judy       

Comment by Joanne on April 23, 2014 at 2:53pm

That is so sad, Lulu.  I am so sorry that circumstances prevented you from saying goodbye to Jeff.  I am sure that you brought a lot of joy into his last difficult days on earth.  Your poem is very beautiful, he must have been very special to inspire the feelings behind the poem.

Comment by Lulu on April 23, 2014 at 9:13pm

Hi Judy ! Thank you. Yes short relationship. I think i written about 40 poems this one was the first one. And your right so many questions un answered and thats what makes things so much harder for me. But am giving it my all to recover fully.

Hi Joanne Thank you for your kind words. He was very special, kind gentle man. Miss him very much.

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