God took the love of my life

[catherine melton]

  My name is Catherine and sept 6 was the last time I seen my husband he dropped dead from a heart attack that day.When his boss came to the house and got me to take me to the hospital I knew it was bad but I never figured death. Not my baby and that is what I kept screaming over and over when they told me.Not my baby not my baby he wouldn't leave me . But he did in a blink of a eye my whole life changed. I wanted to die with him and still feel that way today wish god would take me any time just so I could be with Robert but I know it won't happen I say that but I do have a very rare blood disease that can take my life at any time it a protein I'm missing in my plasma that makes my body swell out of control wherever it wants and yes my throat it was his biggest fear that my throat would swell shut and he would lose me.So he watched me very close. Now I'm alone and have no one to watch me so I just keep going getting up everyday trying to figure what purpose do I have left I miss my husband so much and all I seem to do is cry I mean breakdowns I pray it gets better I know he don't want me to be like this that's why I joined hoping some new friends might give me hope.

[Judy Davidson]

Catherine,

I am so sorry for your loss.  THank you for sharing your story about Robert and your feelings about the loss.  It's the first step toward grief recovery.  I was in your shoes 10 years ago.  My husband died suddenly as well.  It was the inspiration that caused me to start this site.  I pray it provides Help for TOday & Hope for TOmorrow.

God bless,

Judy

Founding member 

[Joyce sterling]

Catherine, my heart goes out to you. My husband died last month of a heart attack we had been marries for 49 years. He was my life. Everywhere I look, I see him. This week has been particularly hars. Don't know why. I cry a lot too, you wonder how we have that much eater because drinking and eating I not a priority. I was in bed suffering with siatic pain and whe I got up he was in his chair already dead, I thought I would die too. It is too much to bear.

[Joyce sterling]

Well, I see I cannot spell this morning. Sorry...

[catherine melton]

Thank you all for all the things you said I love getting on here and getting encouragement it helps me so much. Again today it has been really bad for me infact the last almost two months have it's like a bad dream I can't wake up from but I decided to place my faith in god he has been my lord and savor my whole life so why would I not think he will get me thru this yes there will still be pain but he will guide me all I have to do is believe he will our god does not like to see his children weep I'm going to try and give it my best shot I talked with a new friend from my HAE site if you remember I said I had a rare blood disease well we have our own f.b. page it's great I made a very special friend last nite and a new sister for life she also has HAE like me but her throat closes a lot and she has flat line I believe 3 times and has been to heaven twice I wanted to know what to expect so I new Robert was ok and he is so much happier there but I also know he's with me all the time I just don't know it maybe one day he will leave me a sign anyhow there are times I think ok I might just make it I'm trying now my grief is so new I know it will take a year or two maybe 3 or 4 who knows lets hope not my dear husband I will never stop loving you for all the days of my life I just want to make this bearable to my heart and if I trust in god he will help me. Maybe I'm just chatting to much I know you got better things to do then read more crap about me.

[catherine melton]

   Hey it's catherine it's been the worst day I've cried almost half the day into the evening I seen my grief counsler today but still it just fell apart I miss my husband so much it's a deep nagging pain in the pit of my stomach and it won't stop my heart so completely broken someone talk to me please!!!

[catherine melton]

  Someone tell me some things I should be doing that will help me cause it's been really hard to let go and accept the fact he's really gone and weather I like or not I have to go on and live that's what he would want but I can't get over the missing him part the not seeing him ever again not holding him ever again and I crave it I do I want to feel his arms around me so bad telling me it's ok babe but I know that won't happen and it's killing me to my core.