i hate myself

[Jennifer]

We lost you on a saturday morning 9 years ago and it still feels like it just happened. The only son I will ever have and i cant see your face and hold you anymore. My mind still replays to that day when everything seemed alright and then we noticed that you didnt act normal so we called 911 and suddenly your dad began CPR and in the blink of an eye you were gone. In our arms you stopped breathing and we were forced say the words YOU'RE DEAD. Worst day of my life and im forced to live it with the constant reminder of looking at your little sister and knowing i could have lost her too being pregnant with her during your funeral. Its still hard everyday and sometimes i want to die if it wasnt for your sisters being here, i would have been dead the day you were taken from me. My sweet little boy. My angel above. I miss you.