Hello Lee, Im sorry about the loss of your wife. I know how you are feeling. Lost my husband in 2013, and my onlt child, my son in 2016. I havent been able to really  grasp it all yet. I understand your feeling of being lost,and almost like being in a whilwind with every emotion imaginable being tossed at you all at once. If you ever need someone to talk to  or vent Im here..I pry you find comfort and some peace Lee it is not an easy journey to go through alone. I hope you have family. I lost all of mine, thats how I came to this site, hoping I could find some comfort and support,as at the time I was goingbonkers and thought I was losing my mind, my soul and all else that mattered,it does get a little easiee I suppose , or so they keep telling me, but I havent gotten there yet. I wish you peace my friend. I will help if I can Lee. You are blessed and loved dont ever forget that. gina.:) smile at the memories even though the tears fall.

Good Morning Lee, funny you should mention your little dog. I have one who is a chi /pom mix. Hes been my buddy since I lost my son, so I know how attached you become to those little fur babbies. I know one day it will be his turn to go and then I will be all alone in this universe.Im okay Lee, dont worry about me, I have the Lord and so far  have managed to move along in this journey, slowly but surely.I know all things happen for a reason, but have not figured out how losing all the people you loved so deeply can make life better,I suppose Ive learned to stand on my own and do things that need to be taken care of , but life is still empty and I feel all alone in this world. For you Lee, you are just begiining this journey, and everything is so raw, and overwhelming. I truly do understand your loss, your emptiness, and the feeling of all that you cherished is gone for now.I hope you have a good support there for you,and you will open up and let all the hurt and angish out. It will destroy you if you let it Lee. May you always find a way to smile just once a day, and  find some peace, and to think of your wifedaily. many blessings Lee and thank you so much for talking with me. I dont feel as alone as I was yesterday. :) you have brightened my day. thank you. :) ...gina, sorry for the typos sometimes the tears just fall for no reason. bless you Lee.

Hello Lee, I ve been thinking about you and wondering how you are today? I knowit is still very raw and painful to even think much less function. If you ever need to talk about Nancy, Im here. Maybe I could share some memories of my son with you and we can cry together, yet smile at the thoughts of them. This world is so cruel sometimes, yet at other times quite beautiful and joyful. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you will find a moment of peace today. ...gina.(ps) if I become a pest just say so :)!

Hi Lee, just checking in on you to see how you are doing. I hope you found a moment in your day to smile. As for me Ive been working in the flower beds trying to keep my mind on other things until this month passes by. Well, Ill just say it  worked for a few minutes, then all the  tears fall and here I am again. Its like that movie ground hog day, only its a nightmare that keeps re occurring.Maybe tell me about your week end and I can forget about my lonliness for awhile. ha Fat chance of that, but I m willing to try .:) Maybe you got a chuckle out of that line, I hope you are okay and I know you arent oon speaking terms with the Lord at this moment in time so I will pray for you tonight. take care Lee. and just wanted you to know you arent alone...gina;;:)

Hello Lee, thank you for the beautiful letter you sent me. I needed to hear from you. It has been a hard week ,and this made me feel like a real live person for awhile. I feel like God bought us together to help us get through this dark tunnel and come out on the other side. what can I do Lee to ease your pain and your guilt? I will try ...all you have to do is reach out and Im here... all the time most days. I wish you a better night,than the oone before. I know it is hard Lee, and I know you feel restless and like you are caught up in a tornado, with everything being tossed at you and no where to turn. understand Lee.... take care my friend.. gina...

Hello Lee.Just  wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and hoping your work day was  a little better today. I know it hasnt changed, but Im trying  to brighten your day. I was doing a little research on mystic CT. It is just a sweet place to live. I would love togo to that aquarium one day. I like to do things like that.  Alot of histoy there too, here in Fredericksburg too. , but we dont have  an aquarium  close by. I love animals and critters so Im all in on watching them. Do you have gardens to go to and enjoy there.? Here it is mainly war history and that sort of things to do. My son used to do alot of metal detecting and gold  hunting in the local creeks and river banks. Id be fishing :) , Well, I just wanted to say hi and you seem  to be on my mind today, so your day must not of been a very good one for you.Its been very chilly and windy here, so I guess March winds are here now.Are you close to water where you live Lee? or a beach? I know Im ambling, I do seem to do that sometmes. ha.:) well, I hope you will be okay  and  take care of yourself.. your friend. gina..

Hello Lee, thinking of you this morning, be strong, be silly and try to smile  .take care my friend. Just remember you arent alone, and find something about the day that made it special. For me the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming. Good to know some tings go on that I can count on. Makes me feel like time is moving forward.Maybe treat them workers to lunch,:)  Now that would be a nice surprise ...will be thinking of you Lee. take care ...gina..

good morning Lee. How are you today? I hope your morning is a wonderful start to a new day. I think of you often during my day, and feel so badly that you are all alone.I know sometimes it feels better to be alone, as it is too exhausting to try to be happy  around others. It can drain the soul quickly.  You are lucky in a way to have work to occupy your mind and thoughts till it is the end of the day.. so that does help. I made it through my son s birthdaythis year better than the last 2 , so Im releived it is over until the next one.It is getting better, but I think it is from your friendship that gave me strength and hope and peace. I hope one day I will be able to help you too Lee. take care my friend..may you be blessed today.. gina..:)

Hello Regina,

I had brought my laptop into work yesterday because I wanted to make sure to write to you during the day. Then I forgot to bring it home. I wanted to just send you a hello last night, but no means to do it. Nancy would understand. I forget so much. She would say, "I can't believe you forgot...oh wait, I can". I get distracted easily. She would send me a list for the grocery store, thankfully its 5 minutes down the road, because when I got home, 1-2 items would be missed. Back to the store.

I am glad you got thru the day better than the last. And I also value our realationship. Without you, I promise, I would be much worse. I am 58 years old, had many friends, but the only one I can talk with about this, the only one who feels comfortable talking about loss, is you. Out of all my family and friends, I turn to you. Someone I met in a chat room a couple of months ago. Yet I am so happy to know you. 

Like I said, I am so afraid of the summer, the memories and the guilt. But I will continue to talk with you. As far as my mother-in-law, I will always be there for her. I spoke with her the other night. We live in CT, her Mom lives in NY Long Island, where we all grew up in. She wanted to come up, but she is in her 80's. I told her I would come down soon and stay the weekend and spend time with her. And I will. We are all in this together.

I know I have a long road ahead, but thanks for being there. Imagine if you weren't. Not sure right now what I would be doing. And of course, I think about you every day and thank you for being there for me.

Lee

Hello Lee. I feel better now that I heard from you. I was kind of concerned because I hadnt. But , I know your days are busy. So I do understand.Who doesnt forget things Lee? Happens to me all the time. At least you had the list. I write out a list and then leave the list on the desk, and then I usually write another list for the things I couldnt remember.hahaha. Oh well, its fun anyway.:)We are only human. Thats cute Lee.Seems like maybe my outlook is better these days, but you know how  this goes, ond day is good and maybe the next no so good. haha.Lee, it is hard for people to understand the emptiness we feel unless they too have been in these shoes. I remember when my son first passed away and all my friends would say their condolences,and you could see they were uncomfortable , so eventually they disappear from your support team. So, I cant blame them for  trying, but I started to feel better being alone as having them feel uncomfortable. Lee. dont be afraid of your feelings, as its a journey we have to go through. I still feel that way about places my son and I used to love to go together, still havent gotten up the nerve to do them by myself. So life goes on, as it should I suppose. But look at the summer and the memories as  another chapter in  a book. I too, still feel the guilt. sometimes I sit under the trees at night and just talk into the air and tell him how sorry I am that I didnt find him quicker, etc, I can find a billion reasons to carry the guilt, and I can find a few that  the Lord took him when he did. Itry to focus on the living and reach out to others. I just love people and I like to help them. Always have.Im glad Im here for you as long as you need  me here to help, or at least support you.Lee, you have no guilt where Nancy  is concerned. You did what you could,and she made it to the hospital,and there she  rested. Dont feel guilty Lee, I can tell from the way you speak, you both have a great love for each other and that in itself is such a true blessing. It is rare to find that in this world. She knows youdid all you could,and yes, she heard your goodbyes and your tears,I truly beleave that. I always have. I used to visit hospice patients  and sit with them til they passed into the next relm. Most people cant do that, but I feel everyone needs someone, even if its only for a few moments.I felt the same way Lee. I wlked around for over  a year just  waiting to pass. Thought for sure I would,or maybe I just wanted to. I was in such a horrible place and always strived to find that light at the end of this horrible nightmare. I will be here as long as you need me, and I will pray for a bright moment in your day. When I hear fro you I  have a brighter day, and not so alone as well. So I thank you for being here me as well. One day you will feel better Lee. but it does take time and sheer determination .Enjot and welcome the summer Lee, Nancy would want you to, she doesnt want you to suffer. It is not who she is.Take care my friend, and thank you for your kindness. You are still a young man who has alot to give and do in this world, so venture out Lee. .. smile for me today .:) .gina.

I have read all your comments gena & Lee and I know exactly what you are both going through. Keep writing to each other I know it helps. Stanley (husband} passed about 2 weeks ago after a long battle with Cancer.  I think about him 24/7.

Thank God for my daughter Son & SIL. I really don't know what I would do without them. I am now living with my daughter and that makes Stanley's passing a little more be bareable. Keep strong I promise it will get better. Time Is A Healer. .

Hello .

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Hello Lee, just thinking about you today and wanted you to know you are not alone .take care. gina:)