hi Isabelle, I m truly saddened over the loss of your husband. I lost my husband in 2013 from a long battle of a terminal illness. and then lost my only child, my son in 2016 from a sudden major heart attack that was truly unexpected. Ive been fighting the numbness and emptiness for what seems like a life time instead of a few years. some how I cant seem to fill that big giagantic hole in my heart, but for some reasoon i am still here even though I have no family left to be with. I pray you have someone in your life that you can count on and help you thri=ough all the raw emotions and uncertainty you are feeling right now. I will keep you in my prayers. take care ,gina:)