GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Michelle Clever's Comments

Comment Wall (10 comments)

At 1:32pm on September 18, 2014, maryellenmcquown said…

so sorry 

At 11:01pm on September 18, 2014, Craig Bruenger said…
me and my wife were together for 20 years the hardest part for me is an empty bed just have someone to talk to at night then we catch up during the day is activities we hold hands Shed smile.sometimes I think if it wasn't for my 14 year old son that I would join her.my mother says that selfish that I should start living but at times how can I everything I did I lived for her. sorry for your loss to have someone stolen from you there are no words that can take that place
At 7:12am on September 21, 2014, Craig Bruenger said…
It was a Friday night 2 days before her 42nd birthday. she wasn't sick she was feeling good we talk to around 2:00 in the morning.I took my sleeping pill I told her I loved her then I went to sleep.well I woke up she was cuddled next to me with her head on my shoulder still had her bra on and cold.I lied there and cried for about 20 minutes I was like frozen in time they said she never felt anything she went right to sleep.it's hard to do this for me to tell this story I can't even imagine how you would to your watched him suffer knowing that there was nothing you could do but love him my heart goes out to you.Please continue to communicate with me as hard as it this is it does help and I hope it helps you.
At 5:02pm on September 21, 2014, Michelle Clever said…
I am sorry you never got a chance to say goodbye but honestly I don't think it made it any easier. We were so hopeful and got news we were not expecting. The new chemo did not work and they basically told us he had about two weeks. So our house became a living morgue. It was awful. After four days I just said enough just immediate family. Of course by then he was so doped up on pain meds and his kidneys were failing so he was asleep almost all of the time. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to each way of losing people. I wish my last night with my husband would have been together I our bed. It was the worst two weeks of my life. Do you know why she died? She was so young. How is your son?
At 5:15pm on September 23, 2014, Craig Bruenger said…
they said it was an aneurysm but it doesn't make it any easier for either one of us knowing whether they suffered a long time. I think we both no pain like no other my son is braver than me stronger than me he loves me he gives me strength when I have none.and I know in my heart that your daughter has to do the same for you otherwise we wouldn't be able to wake up in the morning go to work shop or even communicate with each other.I want to thank you for telling me your story I know how difficult and painful it was I think I cried during the whole conversation to be able to tell my story I know that it had to be just as painful for you.
At 6:36pm on September 23, 2014, Michelle Clever said…
Oh yes, I had a friend who had one who miraculously lived through it. Her daughter was there right when it happened. It is very rare to survive one. My daughter and I go back and forth with who is having a good day etc. I have two older boys from my first marriage and he also has three older children from his first marriage. But we have been together almost 19 years so the older kids have grown up,with us. We have all had our struggles. I am so blessed that our blended family is so strong. I think it really is one of the biggest reasons we lasted so long. Our kids just loved each other and always had such a great time together. We always took all of them on our family trips. Sophia our only child together ( a complete surprise!) ended up being a blessing we never ever expected. But what a joy she has been. Her little world has been shattered but she is wise beyond her 7 little years. She teaches me every day. And you are right she is the reason I get up and the reason I push forward. It is hard to say where I would be without her. Your son may be putting on a brave front but I am sure he is as broken as you. Boys are tricky they tend to hold more in. He probably sees how upset you are and is trying to be brave. It's okay to be mad and sad and everything in between. I sense that you are not having many good days. Is this true? I'm not saying I'm having great days but I feel like I have found some happiness. I still love fall college football and am going to the games and tailgates etc. I am sure your wife would have wanted you and your son to be happy. Do the two of you have common interests etc. I recommend a trip. Something fun the two of you can do together. Your life has forever changed and you will shed tears for a long time but you need to fill your days with fun and laughter too. Otherwise you just get stuck in the greif rut and can't get out. That's no good for anyone. Just my two cents and of course I'm just a school teacher so I'm no expert. But it's just me take.
At 11:03am on September 27, 2014, Judy Davidson said…

Welcome to Grief Hope Network! Please let us know how we can help. Add your picture to your profile and feel free to share pictures of your loved one so we can get to know you better. Read the blog posts on the Home Page and check out the book recommendations. You can also connect with other members by reading their blog posts and discussions in the forum. Scheduled chat sessions are under the Events tab. We pray that you find Help for Today & Hope for tomorrow...
Gratefully,
Judy Davidson
Founding Member

At 6:35am on September 29, 2014, Craig Bruenger said…
I wanted to say thank you for all that you have said it means a lot. It has been good for me to share with someone who is feeling the same things. You are right I have tried to do some new things with Cameron we went to a fall festival. Sharon and I did that every year in Branson Mo. So we went to some where new and had a good time. How was your weekend did you and your daughter do anything. Are the trees starting to change colors yet they are just barely starting here. Talk to you soon
At 6:57pm on October 9, 2014, Craig Bruenger said…
is everything okay I haven't heard from you lately
At 3:30am on October 10, 2014, Michelle Clever said…
Everything is fine. Really tough week for who knows what reason. Both of us just really down about him. Maybe it's just finally setting in that we will never see him again. It was 5 months this week. Hopefully today is a better day. Hope you are doing okay. Fall is in full peak here right now very beautiful. We used to always go up north for my birthday which is next week. Not doing that this year. I am going to go to Ohio to visit my family. Just dreading my birthday. All these firsts just stink don't they? Just keep swimming eh? Take care.

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