GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

It seems like a passing dream, we met, we hit it off so well, if you had asked me to describe my perfect girlfriend, I would have described her. We got intimate, and it was such a Rush of intense feeling. The best feelings. I feel for her, then on the 8th, she was driving back upstate from a trip, she was going to sleep at my house. But she never made it. I waited all night for her, only to find out she had hit a moose, tore the roof off her car, and killed her. Turns out she looked up from responding to a text it sent, and the moose was right there.. I may have well killed her myself, all because I asked her to stop through the store and grab snacks.

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I lost my fiance. I also feel completely responsible. We were moving to a different state to start fresh and get married and be alone, just the two of us. He got a job first, I had to stay behind to tie loose ends up. He begged me over and over not to leave him alone. When we drove up to move him and his stuff first, we got less than an hour away and he said he felt really sick and wanted to turn around. I assured him everything was ok. I was flying up on June 24, he passed on June 19 just a few days before I was scheduled to arrive. All I had to do was LISTEN. He begged me not to leave him alone, numerous times. I told him "you'll never be alone again, its just a couple weeks". We drove up on the 4th which is the last time I saw him alive. He died alone. He begged me not to leave him alone. I didnt understand. I feel like I killed him.
I feel responsible for my husbands death. And I am so guilty that I did not pay attention because I was to worried about my job that I couldn’t get enough sleep because he was keeping me up because he was not feeling well. I even gave him some nasty attitude when he told me to go back to our bedroom so I can rest and he will start making breakfast. I asked him to go to the urgent care but I gave up when he said no, he worked on the medical field and he tend to argue because he knows what he is doing, while at work he tried to call me three times ( I forgot that I told him to ring me three times if it’s emergency and at my job we’re not able to pick up the phone) I was too busy too busy of doing other things and when I got home I found him, no life. And when I had a chance to check his phone he even tried to message me but he was not able to send it. I put my game face everyday but I died inside. If I can just go back even to that only moment to at least comfort him. I wanted to tell him that I love him so much and I miss him immeasurably.

I hope you will bring her back.

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