GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Hi everyone.  I just joined this site.  I lost my Mom last month and I am still a total mess.  We lived together and shared just about everything in our lives.  She was my best friend and companion.  We were planning a trip this week while I'm on Spring Break (I'm an elementary school teacher) and her suitcase is still packed.  I can not face even one more day without her here.  How do I face the rest of my life??  The pain is unbearable. I feel completely and utterly alone.  I can't return to work because I can't concentrate and I'm not sleeping at all.  I keep hoping to hear her banging around this old house.  How do I take even one step forward??

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Its not time to take a step forward. Its time to release your pain. At this moment and time there is no easy way out. Time will bring comfort but for now we are here to help in anyway possible. Its best to take your trip she would have wanted it that way.

Ruth I am so sorry about your mom.  I lost my mom last month too and I understand what you are feeling.  This is a difficult thing to deal with for sure, you have to do what is right for you.  I imagine it must be hard to be around all of her things also.  I hope that God gives you some needed strength soon.  

oh ruth how sorry i am for you,my mother died last month also and its been so hard to go on,life seems so drained without her,im empty inside missing her,sometimes i think i hear her calling me,i dream of her and pray/meditate,prayers and going to mass for her help,even though i cry and cry in church,i hope you get through this you sound like you loved each other very much,i will pray for her when i pray or my mother,be well

hi Ruth i know the pain that you feel and it is the hardest thing we as kids have to deal with even when we grow up it is ok and we need to cry and mourn just remember there is no time table for grief 

Give yourself time to grieve. There is no time limit on it. Take the trip, it will do you more good than you can possibly imagine and remember, your mom will still be going with you because she is forever in your heart. I lost my fiance a month and a half ago and I know it's not easy. There are so many things that go through your mind. And it's hard to take a full step forward, you have to move in baby steps. Death is the hardest thing we ever have to face, and it's even harder when it's someone we are really close to. And don't ever hold your tears back. If you feel like you need to cry then cry. Holding it in will only make it worse. I tried holding mine in and when I finally would break, I would cry for hours. The most important thing to do is to surround yourself with as much positive as you can. And this is also a time in your life when you find out who your real and true friends are. People will think they know what you are going through, but they don't. I can't even imagine what you are going through. You grieve and recover at your own pace, even if it takes a lifetime to do it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother/best friend 2 months ago. So far it has only gotten worse not better. Every day that passes that I can't talk to her is unbearable. I hope your grief can be eased soon as I hope my own will be.

I lost my mom 2 years ago and its still tears me up. I lost my dad last year too. They were my everything and I don't know how to move forward even after all this time.

Today was extremely hard.  Mom loved Easter and always made it very special.  She made all of us baskets every year no matter how old we got or how far away we lived!  How does everyone else make it through these holidays?  There has to be more than merely surviving them.  Several friends invited me to their celebrations, but I couldn't stand to be around happy people with their families.  I would really like to know everyone else's coping devices for holidays, because I'm afraid Mother's Day might do me in.  Thanks.  Ruth

 

I thought of my mom most of the day today and the way things used to be on Easter. Lots of tears, but then what else is new.

Hi Ruth!

I been crying heavily for the past few days. Missing him so much! Needing to hear his voice. Today was no different I woke up knowing I would be with family and their partners their happy lives and laughter. All though I'm grateful they are happy and healthy and living life as they should be. I cant help but wonder why I wasn't given the same gift. I tried to put a strong face but my insides were burning with pain. I mostly kept  the company of my little nieces, at this point they are the only one that could fill my heart with warmth.

I knew it was going to be a hard journey. But I also know life will get better for all of us if we have faith. Mothers day will no doubt be hard day for you. But remember its a man made tradition. The love for your mother is everyday and she left in peace because you loved her.

Hi Ruth,

Easter was hard for me too!  My mom loved Easter.  But all the family wanted to get together to help each other through the first holiday without Mom.  As the day approached, I dreaded it more and more, thinking it would only make things worse.  Well it turned out pretty good!  And I think all of us together made Mom smile in heaven, she always stressed how important it was for us to stay close!  I am very concerned about Mother's Day though.  We will all be apart and, since my mom's burial won't be until June, I won't even be able to visit her grave.  It will be hard, and the best I can offer is what I am trying to do.  I plan to be with my boyfriend and maybe his mom.  Keeping some people around to help on those difficult days is important, I think.  Just as you would like to help them if they were going through the same thing.  I am learning to ask for shoulders to cry on.  And it helps just a little bit.  For now, I will take any help I can get.  This is a very difficult thing to come through.  Each holiday will be tough.

Hi Ruth I just joined this site as well and like you because of the loss of my mother.  Wow to even type that is very hard. I am coming on the 2nd anniversary and think I have been in denial for  a long time.  That desperate feeling you  are having right now will become bearable. You do however have to keep stepping forward. I am a religious person so prayers do help.  I do have to say sadness just grabs me sometimes and all emotions come roaring back again. But at least I am at the point where I can smile now when great memories come to mind about her.  Again I think this loss will always be with us but we have to be strong as much as I miss my MOM I know she is watching over me and that does help God Bless

 

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