On April 17th of this year I lost my husband Joel to suicide. We were only married 17 days. I don't know how to move forward I feel like I'm not keeping my promise to him in life and that's Joel and I. I don't do anything we once did I feel guilty I don't even watch tv anymore cause I feel like it's not right without him. His ex wife kept him from their 3 kids because he was with me. 2 days before he died he had a court hearing to see his kids the judge told him she wasn't going to change anything that he still had to contact his ex wife and set up visits cause of scheduling differences. He hung himself 2 days later and I found him. Joel sent a text message to his son and said I'm not living without my kids anymore I just wanted to say goodbye and I love you all thank your mom. How does one begin to move forward