I just lost my boyfriend of 17 1/2 years. I am devastated.

[ShortTree]

 I miss the only man I ever had as a husband.  He died from a rare genetic illness called gauchers Disease which creates extreme osteoporosis.  I just lost him last Friday morning and I can’t function well.  He was all that I had and there will never be a replacement.  I miss him constantly and wish so much that I could see him again.  I don’t know how I can go on...

[Joanne LaFrance]

I’m so sorry for your pain. I lost my husband today three years ago. It’s hitting me hard today this year. It’s only time that makes this better. Cry sleep do whatever you have to. I smelled his shirt for months and slept with it.

[Benedict Bernett]

Hi how are you today

[Benedict Bernett]

I am new here and am deeply sorry to hear this

[ShortTree]

Thank you for your kind words.  I went to file a police report today about a maid stealing my toiletries and I asked about what would be entailed in investigating a cold case because I believe someone deliberately made him ill enough to pass prematurely.  It haunts me every day and I miss the better side of him dearly.  He was ill for so long, his personality had changed, but I didn't get the goodbye I wanted even when I called him just minutes before he passed to tell him that I loved him.  I found out from the officer that it would be hard to prove if the police go by what's written on the death certificate.  I'm not done yet because his burial was kept a secret from me and I don't understand why this was done.  I don't have a car or enough money for a cab that far out to visit the tombstone of where he supposedly lays.  I just talk to God about it and he reminds me that he's on the Mothership now - in my mind's eye, that is, and I try to hold on to that.