My Daughter

[Henry G. Fernandez]

I lost my daughter on December 14, 2012. She is now in heaven and not suffering anymore from the brain cancer.  My daughter went on her journey home in my arms and I feel that it was right for her to be in daddy's arms at her passing. I recited Psalm 23 twice and told her that it was okay, we would be fine and that I loved her more than anything in the world.  She was 41 and still daddy's baby.  I miss her so much, my grandkids are doing fine. I don't want to take the anti-depressants that the Kaiser Drs. want to give me.  I know I can hack it but it just hurts so bad and I just know that I will never get over it.  What can I do to make this loss better. She was a social worker and she would be telling me to move forward, that is "what your daughter would want".  I don't know if she can hear me or see me, I feel her around me but maybe it's just my imagination.  I miss her so much and need to talk about it. Her mom and I are divorced and have been communicating well but we have separate lives.  Are there any groups that can help me.  I feel as though a group with others in a similar situation will only remind me of the my daughter more.  I'm just lost and don't know how to handle it.  I'm just talking I guess and hoping that someone is listening.  Hank

 

 

[Laurene Johnson]

Thinking about you, how are things going

[Henry G. Fernandez]

Hi Laurene, 

 

I've been doing okay, back at work and dealing with it.  I've had a couple of panic attacks at work but worked through them. They are awful but I know my heart is good so I'm not going to have a heart attach, it just feels awful.  I still miss my baby so much.  She was the joy of my life and I love her so much.  Thanks for asking me how I"m doing.  I appreciate it. Always, Hank

[Laurene Johnson]

Hank I think of you often, and pray you are doing a little better

[maryellenmcquown]

just wanted to see how your doing 

[Henry G. Fernandez]

I'm doing okay, thanks for asking, I guess you never get over losing a child, I'm still working at it.  Thanks again.

 

Hank

Laurene Johnson said:

Hank I think of you often, and pray you are doing a little better

[Henry G. Fernandez]

Hi Maryellen,

 

Thanks for inquiring, I'm gettin along, trying to keep going.  Back at work part time only though.  Feel like I just want to retire.

Nice hearing from your

maryellenmcquown said:

just wanted to see how your doing 

[Justin]

Happens to me often in the car.  I will hear a guitar solo and start crying.  Not sure why.  Its like the music is so beautiful that it can't be in this world of constant pain that I live with.  Or maybe its because music makes me so happy it reminds me of my  lost family members that I loved so much.  

Henry G. Fernandez said:

Thank you Laurene, I really appreciate your response. My son and I have talked about some grief counseling and I think we might go forward with this.  I'm doing okay without the meds though (I think).  I'm returning to work tomorrow and hopefully I will be able to be productive.  I'm going to see about volunteering wiht the support group that is part of the Kaiser hospice team.  Maybe that will be helpful.  I want to thank you for your response.  I'm trying but I just start crying when I'm driving or by myself, I seem to be okay when I'm around other people though.  I miss her so much.  Hank

[kinglana]

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