I lost my son on October 15, 2020. He was my first born and died at the age of 48 from an unexpected heart attack. I still have trouble believing it. I have another son who is 44 and he and his wife along with my husband and grown grandsons have been my lifeline. The problem is that I dont want them to know how deeply destroyed I am by his death. They worry so much about me so I try to keep the pain to myself as much as I can. We are a very close family and everyone is in pain but as a mother I don’t believe I will ever get over it. My husband and I are 71 years old and we both were wondering as we get older how we will cope with the loss of each other since we’ve been together since we were 16. We never dreamed that one of our children would die so young and now not only do I worry about losing my husband I also worry constantly about my other son and the rest of the family. I am not the same person as I was before my sons death and never will be. How do I get through this without feeling I will just be in mental pain until I die? I try praying for strength to get through this but I just feel I will never be able to function normally again.