I lost my bestfriend 10 years ago. We met when we were both 15 years old and dated ever since. He suffered from heart disease, he had a mechanical valve and a pacemaker. One day he was having a hard time breathing and wasn't the same since. He died at 18 years old on jan.17th. Im married now with two kids whom i love very much. Lately i catch myself thinking of him alot. I miss everything about him. I also keep having the same dream, where we are holding eachother tight in tears and he reminds me how much he loves me. I wake up with this empty feeling in my chest thats hard to explain. Before he passed i was pregnant but had a miscarriage a month before he passed and i never really grieved. I stayed strong for him. When he passed i stayed strong for his mother and sisters as well. Is it wrong that im still heartbroken over his death even tho I'm married now. I feel horrible about it. Just can't get rid of this feeling.