i celebrated many without mine here favorite song kenny rogers you decorated my life
i play that song often in memory of her
Dear Dianna, your grief really speaks to me. Our parents (and grandparents, if they played a significant role in our development) are our foundations and are very large parts of whom we become. I lost my mother when I was 29 to pancreatic cancer. I was not close to my father or my grandparents, or any of my extended family, so loosing her was basically like loosing all connection with my past. I felt for years like I didn’t know who I was, and really had to struggle to redefine myself. It wasn’t enough that I was in a loving and very intimate relationship with my husband. It was as if I had been doing everything because of her, whether succeeding or rebelling, and then suddenly that impetus was gone. I can’t say that it was easy, or that I “got over it.” It literally took me a decade to climb out of the depression I suffered over loosing her, but it DID make me a stronger person, and it helped me to cope with my husband’s declining health and death, because I knew that if I could survive the death of my foundation, I could survive anything. I could only look to myself to get me through the emotional turmoil of my husband’s death. And I did, and that is OK.
Please reach out to some grief groups. I found them immensely helpful. Spending some time in a group who are going through the same or similar trauma allows you a safe place to grieve openly. It reassures you that you are not alone, and yet with people who will give you the space to walk in your own grief at your own pace.
Comment
© 2024 Created by Judy Davidson. Powered by
You need to be a member of GriefHope to add comments!
Join GriefHope