Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Adam.

I lost my oldest son Adam only 26 years old on 4Sept2016.
He suffered so horribly in ICU for 3 months waiting for a heart transplant that never happened
He never came home.
I really don't want to live anymore-I can't live without him.His father and brother always had a joke about Adam being "My chosen one"
He was so strong and brave and overcame so many obstacles that even the ICU doctors were shocked when he left us.
I am so scared about the rest of my life.I know I can't keep going.
I can't keep going.
I just want him back.

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Permalink Reply by Susan Bachar on January 15, 2017 at 7:08am

Julie, your story could be my story. I lost my 27 year old daughter on September 26, 2016 in the ICU waiting for a lung transplant. She had so much strength and determination. Despite having lived (and very well, I might add) with an incurable lung disease her entire life, I never thought we would lose her. I have two other wonderful daughters but Aly was special, probably because we fought her health problems together, always. She had many friends but always told me I was her best friend. Besides my husband, she was my best friend. I have a lot of support from family and friends which is probably why I am doing as well as I am but just remembering something we did together or talked about breaks me. Missing her often overwhelms me on a daily basis. I, too, just want her back. But I know Aly would not want me to stop living. I have a husband and children who need me and friends who love me. I just live day to day now, not thinking of the future because I can't comprehend a future without her in it. It's all you can do right now. I have friends who lost a child and they all tell me that the pain never goes away and the loss is always with you. But, they have all adapted to a "new normal" and their lives are happy and fulfilling again. It can take a very long time but it does happen. I see it with all of them. We have to move forward because there is no other option. I know Aly is with me all of the time and one day we will be together again. Believing that is how I get through each day.