Haven't told my siblings

[Morgan]

My thirty years old son passed suddenly about 4 1/2 months ago.  I haven't told my siblings.  Every time I think about telling them I start to sob.  We are not a close family.  My son passed on without any children so I have no grand babies.  My siblings all have healthy grand children and seeing them make me envious for what I could of had and it hurts. 

Does or has anyone had this problem?