Holidays

[Judy Goode]

 My husband passed away in  April of this year, this the first Holidays without him. Would be interested in how others have are dealing with it . I was told to allow myself time this year and maybe next year build new traditions. Any insight out there?

[Stonewolff]

Praying for you my husband passed away 3 months ago I stay busy workwork family is kind. Amazed me hire people family you thought would be supportive aren't and unexpected people are.? I'm lost weep alot. Pray alot. Even Tallk to my beloved outloud I pray I havent went off deep end. But I believe love is stronger than death.

[Judy Goode]

Thank you for the prayers. I also agree on who is supportive and who isn't. When I hit the 6month mark I reliezed I was also grieving the loss of what I thought was going to be my future, retirement with my husand. All of that gone. Also kinda scary to rebuild my future without him. Some days I'm doing fine and a suddenly burst into tears, friends tell me it just takes time

[Carole M]

I am in the same situation. Thanksgiving went fairly well. The Christmas holidays are another story.

[Judy Goode]

     My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm not totally ignoring Christmas but trying to keep it simple, my heart has much healing to do. My close friends understand. Buy nature I'm not very good meeting new people. But I'm going out to public functions learning how to meet people. Very difficult at first but starting to get the hang of it. Also using Facebook to reconnect with old friends. My nature is to become a hermit, don't want to do that. Grandchildren help a lot. Still get real emotional. Miss him so very much. Not sure if the pain ever goes away. Read a great book  Hope for Hurting Hearts by Greg Laurie, gave me comfort,

[Carole M]

That's okay. Sometimes I feel like posting and sometimes I don't. I'm ready for a new year.

[Judy Goode]

   Yes I'm ready to start a new year

[Carole M]

You haven't gone off the deep end, Stonewolff. It's hard and people often forget.

Greg Laurie is great. We lived in California for a long time and went to Calvary Chapel where Chuck Smith was the senior pastor and Greg was an up and coming young minister. He moved to Riverside, CA, where he founded a church. He may still be there.

[Arida Wright]

This is my third holiday without my mom. She used to come every 3rd week in December to visit me and we would run around town and do all kind of wonderful things that are still very dear memories. I found myself becoming really sad and crying a lot the closer and closer Christmas was coming. So I booked a flight to NY where our family home is. All her things are there and it looks like she will walk through the door any minute. I did this last year also. My brother and his girlfriend live there. They make me feel really at home and my brother's girlfriend even wears moms perfume. What a trip that is! His son and his daughter came with his granddaughter. I started cooking. More than I cooked last year. I set a beautiful dining room table for Christmas dinner. We ate together. So I guess this is me building a new tradition, going "home" for Christmas, being around family instead of being alone, helps to fill the hole. It is NOT easy!  I haven't stopped crying since I returned where I live so I figured I'd join this site, see if it would make a difference.

[Carole M]

Thanks for sharing that and good for you, Arida. I hope to establish some new traditions next year. Traditions are very powerful.

[Icy]

Hi all,

This holiday season was the first without my father, and I wish I could say I did anything great. I just withdrew, and spent a lot of time by myself. Arida, I think your idea of making a new tradition is wonderful, and Judy, I find myself bursting into tears out of nowhere often as well.

[Judy Goode]

Icy said:

Hi all,

This holiday season was the first without my father, and I wish I could say I did anything great. I just withdrew, and spent a lot of time by myself. Arida, I think your idea of making a new tradition is wonderful, and Judy, I find myself bursting into tears out of nowhere often as well.

[Arida Wright]

Hi Icy, my first holiday season without my mom was like yours. I did the same as you. You did what you needed to do to comfort yourself. So be gentle now as you think back on how you were during this holiday. Realize it is not easy and you were doing the best you can.