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miss my mom...life isn't happy anymore.

I lost my mom to suicide October 25, 2014. I struggle everyday with anger. I desperately want to talk to her again. We were best friends. The pain is so strong and I don't know what to do without her.

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Permalink Reply by elizabeth murray on July 8, 2015 at 4:58pm

hi kaci. this is how i am feeling about the loss of my husband almost 4 years ago. he was not just a husband but my true best friend and soul mate too. the pain is so intense at times, in fact it is beyond pain, like just a numb feeling and a void inside. when he was alive, the love used to a sweet kind of pain in my heart, but this pain is very different now. i felt the same anger as you at first, as while my husband was not actually a suicide, he did drink himself to death with strong alcohol. i wish i could feel him close to me in spirit, but i don't. even now i don't know what i am going to do with the rest of my life without him, but i take each day and each hour at a time, and have somehow got thru the last 4 years. no one can ever replace your mum for you, just as no one can replace him for me. i know you feel right now like all you shared and all the years together have been juts wiped out, but please try to believe that you will see her again. she had her own reasons for what she did, just as my husband did. he was so fed up with living as a cripple, and he drank hoping partly to die. you have to forgive her. you have to forgive yourself too. i felt a lot of guilt after his death, that "if" i had done thibngs different, it wouldn't have happened, but counselling has helped me to see that this was not true. i have forgiven him now, and in forgiving him i also forgave myself. xxx

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Permalink Reply by 2f0aakorxz05v on July 13, 2015 at 2:36am

Thats a bad sign to miss someone plus not be happy

U literally r being stolen from

Something is going wrong
We cant b happy unless the enemy is out of the way

Unhappiness is a captivity

Someone inviting wrong harmful things around u

Its usually a fung shuia cleaning that i did once to get out of captivity that the tv news radio movies were all cornering me into

Ppl will watch your life and try to make money off of your life

stop being urself until these ppl run out of interest in your life

But when they run out if interest they try to kill us off so theyre not caught plagetizing others lives