Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

Hi. I lost my brother and mother around the same time 2013. I was only 16 years old. My mother battled with addiction, and it ultimately took her life. She is not my brothers mom, he is my half brother (same dads). My mom died October 20th 2013. I mention her first because although this death is still hard for me, my brothers is the one that has damaged my soul more than anything. He was 21. My brother was wreck less, but he was my best friend. I loved him more than anything and it seemed like he was the only person who ever really understood me in my family. He died August 16 2013. He went to a party, got very drunk, and slipped into a pool. Everyone did what they could but it was too late. My brother was put on machines in the ICU before we had to let him go. I still see that night like it was yesterday. I remember how he looked on all those machines, the smells of the room, the sounds, everything. I torture myself with the memory. Whenever I close my eyes all I can see is him in the hospital, and what it may have been like when he was in the pool. I can't explain my feelings very well, but I am consumed. I'm turning 21 on October 1st. I will be the same age as my brother when he died. This is also hard for me. I just need ssomeone to tell me I'm not alone. I feel so damaged. I'm ready to move on but I just can't. How do you let go of the haunting images in your head? I can't live with these thoughts anymore!!

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I lost my 1 year old Saturday I’m so lost ,broken,numb I fight my addiction every day but I’m afraid it’s getting the best of me so no you are not alone

I lost my dad in 2009, he committed suicide, and my brother just this past october. I totally understand you having those haunted images in your head that are unwanted but you cant help but see. I can just tell you as time goes on those images will start to be replaced with happy memories. its is no longer painful to remember your loved one. that is how I felt at least with my dad, but now that my brother is gone...I am struggling all over again. just give it time, always have someone to turn to who will be there even if you just need to tell them you are sad or struggling. take it one day at a time. But know that you are not alone and try your best to think of happy memories of your brother and know how proud he would have been of you, and how much he loved you. that's, at least, what I am trying to do. 

Hello I'm so sorry for your loss I am going through a similar situation how do you get through the days I'm trying to figure out how I will
Hello there ! Am so sorry for your lost and your sadness , I wanted to let you know that you are not alone . Sometimes you need to find the truth about life and why these things happen to be able to move on and understand. Please contact me if you need to talk i would be more then happy to help . Again sorry about how you are feeling .thank you

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