My mother passed away the Tuesday before Christmas this year and I don't know how to act. I want to burst out into tears every five second but then I start to get angry and I shut down. I just don't know what to do. She was a shitty mom but she was my one and only and I keep wondering what I'm going to do for holidays and my wedding one day and when I go to college and when I graduate. what about when I have kids how will I explain what there grandmother was like. I'm so lost and I need some help.
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You were a wonderful daughter who was there until the end. You did a lot for her and I believe she knows that. The best thing you can do to honor her memory is to accept yourself and live a good, happy life. Reach out to others, practice kindness, vow to do a good deed every day. That would make her proud.
Take care of yourself. A part of her lives on in you.
Amber, sorry for your own loss, I lost my mom a few weeks ago. It's pretty painful, my sister is pretty angry. I think over time, you'll change your thoughts and hopefully think of the good times the little times talking, eating, watching tv. I try to think of that, and when I drink coffee, I think of offering my mom a cup.... "mom do you want some coffee?...." it's very sad something as simple as that brings me to tears... Your mom and mine did the best they could with what they had to handle the world and having kids.... I read a poem that your mom was sitting there waiting for you to need her, waiting alone by the phone knowing your life is more important now, and that she didn't want to disturb or bother you. It also made me very sad thinking about that as that's what my mom tried to do and I remember yelling at her sometimes to be quiet.... She thought about you everyday, I'm sure of it, and now those days only live in your memories. I don't have one picture of my mom and myself since was a 5 years old not one and I'm a professional photographer of all things..... It's very sad.....
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