Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

I can't seem to move on. Everyone else has.

2 years ago in February 12th I went into preterm labor with my daughter Aisha. I was turned away by my doctor 3 times for 3 days. By the time I sit help elsewhere it was too late... i live with that guilt every day. Since then everyone else has moved on but i'm still grieving. It never seems to get any better or any easier. I just can't seem to move on. I hide that fact from everyone I know. My husband hates to talk about it or listen to me cry...(I think because it makes him hurt) and my friends have so much going on I don't want to burden them with my sorrow. It's gotten bad enough lately that I just want the pain to end. Anyway I can. It's just too hard.

Views: 33

Comment by Lauren on July 20, 2019 at 8:27am
I know exactly how you feel. You like your whole world stops and everyone else’s carrying on. You feel yourself getting a little bit happier but then you feel good guilty for feeling happy again? I have this constant battle with my ex partner because I think he doesn’t care anymore I no deep down he does
Comment by Lauren on July 20, 2019 at 8:30am
I used to think I was burdening my friends but they actually got upset I stopped bothering I feel sometimes a lot of the emotion and the ‘ people ‘ not caring is in our head. Please always message me. I’m here for you. I know how you are feeling. It will get better one day. But the one day just may not be yet x
Comment by Edward Janne on January 14, 2020 at 1:11pm

Dear Emmy, please don’t fault yourself for grieving. You went through an immensely traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what the doctor was thinking turning you away. It seems like you did everything you could. You sought help, but it was denied. But it’s also natural to look back on trauma and agonize over whether there was something you did wrong. I don’t think there is a time limit for grief, and if you are still grieving after two years, it’s your right. To be honest, two years is really not that long for a mother to grieve the loss of a child. I don’t think any reasonable person would believe otherwise. But no one is emotionally strong enough to sustain you through constant grief, not even those who love you dearly. You need to spread it out. Go to grief groups who meet for an hour or two a week or month for mutual emotional support just so that you can cry and let it out in a safe place without fear of judgement or the pressure to “move on”. These people are there for no other reason than to share in grief. That will help you to allow your other emotions to recover and present themselves when you are with your friends and loved ones.


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