Thank you Esther for responding to me. I am sorry for your loss also. I am trying to deal with what feels like the very half of me being gone forever. I know I should rejoice in thefact he is no longer in pain, but my ego, it cries for myself. I truly will be glad when I quit crying so much. I probably will always cry for my loss, yet right now I just can't go a day without tears. Anyway, it's nice to have a place to express myself to those who will understand this nearly unbarelable pain I feel.