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Feel the exact same. 2 younger brothers took their own lives. That was 4 years ago. I don't feel any different from the day i found out.
Ell, I finally feel a little less alone. When I posted that it was the exact 4 year anniversary. Usually the birthdays and anniversaries don't add any extra grief. Its just another painful day along with all the rest. My sister usually struggles more those days. But the few days leading up to it and then that day.......I was just crumbling. Its the first time i tried reaching out to grief counselors and groups. I saw your post and completely felt for you. Im so sorry. I cry a lot in the car too. Likely because its a place to be alone where no one can hear a grown man cry and because I always have music on which reminds me there is still a lot of beauty left for me to admire despite my pain. Its a beautiful word. Its trippy because I often consider myself in a wistful mood. Which is basically a synonym of Saudade. Thanks for sharing and responding.
Ell said:
the word is Saudade.
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