26 days

[Jenny Robinson]

So...in 26 days it'll be My Mom's one year.

  

   I'm stressing and almost always crying now. I force a smile at work and pretend I'm okay, but the truth is I'm not. I don't want to lean on my friends to much because I know they don't know how to handle it or know what to say to help me. 

   This causes me to be angry at them and even mean to them, which I absolutely hate because it's not their fault....No matter how much I try to be nice it gets worse....

   But yeah...I'm upset and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. My sister all work on our Mom's one year which upsets me a lot. Nut I don't have the heart to tell them not to, because we all live so far apart. And they need the money, so I don't want them to take a day off unless they want to or have to. 

   I'm just a wreck and I feel so alone right now because no one seems to be as upset as me. I miss her more than anything and I cry everyday. She was more than just a best friend, she was My Mother. And it's hard to go from seeing her everyday to now knowing I haven't seen her in a year.

  ...... I just miss her....

[Angel]

Sorry4u all I'd help if I was allowed to

[Rhonda]

Hi Jenny,
Being brand new here (this was only the second post I've read), I wasn't sure I could possibly find anyone feeling the exact same way as I am.But then I read your post and realized I may be right where I belong.
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is so relatable, the feeling of truly in your heart wanting your family to want and feel exactly what we feel. I am in the same boat...and really don't want to offend anyone or show my own level of pain by saying how I feel. Deep down I know they have to go on, and I want to do that too, but can't see how yet. I can't understand how Everyone else seems so normal when I'm freaking out that my beautiful mom is gone forever.
I wish I knew the answers, and I'm looking forward to seeing what others advise.
I can tell you that you aren't alone, it's not some kind of anomaly- because it's the same way I feel.
Thank you so much for sharing, just reading your post made me feel a little more 'ok' and that's more than anyone else has accomplished with me recently!
I wish I could be of more help and I hope you're feeling a little better for having gotten it off your chest.

[Jenny Robinson]

Thank you for the love and support, though I do still feel alone. Though I may not be alone in knowing the pain as many know what the loss of a parent is. But to me I feel alone in my family, I know my sisters grieve differently, but the fact that they act like nothing bad has happened sends pain and anger into me. I do however push the negative away and know they probably feel the same as I do.

 Rhonda your amount of pain shouldn't offend others, because you are hurting as well. We all came here looking for people to understand, to help us cope with our losses. And though we may still feel alone and as if no one will understand, I do think however that we ourselves will find comfort in this site.

[Cora Robison]

Hey Jenny. I really hope you feel better. I just lost my Daddy and I too feel the same way. Nobody gets how bad it effects me. Nobody gets how BAD it is to lose a parent. I have the same relationship with my mom that you do, and I can't seem to imagine what it's like to lose your mom. My dad and I weren't like "best friends" but we were pretty close, and for that I am grateful. All I have to stay is just try to be grateful for what you have in life. Heck, I only got to have my dad since the day I was born, almost thirteen years ago. I didn't get to have him experience things with me like walking me down the isle or watching me graduate. I watched my dad die to. I was right there. It was very unexpected, he was only 46. And have severe heart disease with symptoms we didn't even realize. I really want my Daddy back and I miss him so much, but that doesn't stop me from my everyday life. I hope you have a great rest of your day/night. Message me back if you want to talk more. Stay strong for your mom, Jenny.

[Mary]

I can say I know how you feel bc I just recently lost my 2 best friends just 10 days apart and that's my parents. I feel alone and lost without them and I get angry bc I cry for them and it seems like it doesn't bother my brother. We lost our older brother 5 years ago and it just seems like I have taken it all harder than he has. He put me in the psych ward for help bc he couldn't handle the way it was affecting me. I am hoping to find someone here that understands my pain and we can help each other.

[Lindsey Campbell]

i lost my father to suicide in 2009, so i know the loss of a parent. i know. i never got to grieve properly because i was in school. it hurt so much when it all came rushing back, i wanted to kill myself. that's why i'm on here