Falling apart slowly

[Autumn]

I lost my father almost four years ago. He died suddenly, most likely from a heart attack, after successfully fighting bladder cancer for over a year. During his fight with cancer, I was his main care taker. I spent almost everyday with him. And during that time I feel like I became a sort of friend to him...I learned about his hobbies, regrets and what he wanted out of life. We grew close. But as he began to grow stronger, I slowly began to pull away and return to my own life. And now all I feel is the loss and guilt that I abandoned him during the last few weeks of his life.

[Lulu]

Hi Autumn, 

I felt that guilt that guilt that doesn't let you see the true of what you had with your father. No one could take away the time you spend with him all those beautiful memories you build while being his care taker. He needed you to live your life thats what he wanted and that is what he still wants. He wanted you to live wthout regrets honor his memory and rememer the wonderful time you had him.