so sorry for the loss of your father saying good bye to him on your birthday must have been difficult. We must take it one breath at a time its not an easy journey just let the love he had for you hold you through. Hold on to your faith its a great guide.
I lost my dad in April and I get how you are feeling. It literally feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. If you want to talk to someone who will understand then message me.