I lost My Mom 10 Months ago...

[Jenny Robinson]

 Hi....My name is Jenny.... on October 17th i lost my mom. She was one of my closest friends, and an amazing mom. When ever I needed a shoulder she was the one who was there, when ever I felt lost or hurt she always knew how to make me feel better. She was my center, what kept me grounded, though we did have hard times, with me being a rebelling teen and her the caring concerned mother. 

    When she got sick it fell onto me, since I was the one living with her, mainly because I was in high school. She got sick the summer of my senior year of high school. She kept fighting the odds, when she was first Diagnosed with a rare form a breast Cancer they told her she wouldn't make it past Christmas... But she did. She kept fighting, wanting to see me graduate, and my sister get married. She later passed in October. I was the one who saw her go, and it hurts... Sometimes I wished I'd begged her to stay... Other times I wished i called to my sisters so they could have seen her go with me... So i didn't feel alone.

    These past months I've cried when I would be alone, I've been feeling like my life feels empty without her here, because so much has happened and I can't even tell her. 

    The thing is, part of me believes I can walk right back to the house we lived in (Cause we are still working on getting everything out). That she'll be there and everything will go back to normal, and the past that hurts the most is... I feel so alone. I do have three older sister but I feel like I cant grieve with them.

   And it hurts knowing the one year is coming up, and that means I have spent one whole year without her. I have gone a year without hearing her voice, kissing her cheek, hugging her, and even eating her dinners. 

     I feel like I'm drowning in a pond of hurt and sorrow. With no way of getting out, everywhere i turn I can only think of her and how much I miss her. I haven't ever stopped thinking of her, I always wonder what she'd say right now. (Mainly cause I always asked her opinion on things.)

    I'm sorry if I'm coming off to needy for comfort or to depressed... I don't lay my heart out like this, but this pain is to much. I can't relate to my friends and my sisters are to depressed to talk to me about it... I feel alone.

[Amy Parks]

Hi Jenny, I just lost my mom on July 30th, 2015 to pancreatic cancer and I took care of her hospice at home until she passed as well. She was my best friend and I know how you feel. I feel like I can't smile, laugh or be happy without her here, and I feel guilty if I do. Some days I don't cry at all, and others all I do is cry and be depressed. It's like a huge weight on my chest of pain that won't go away. I have two brothers but they are out of state....I have a husband who tries to be there for me but he works alot, so most of the time, I am dealing with it all alone. If you want to talk or need someone to relate to, message me on here for my email address so we can talk outside of this site. My name is Amy by the way, I'm 34 and married with no children. I live in Georgia.