Learning to cope with the death of my husband.

[Margie]

He passed away in Oct 2013.  A long battle of 6 years of sickness, a liver transplant and then cancer.  My whole life revolved around taking care of him.  Now I feel lost.

[Raven]

I understand. I took care of my husband throughout his sickness with cancer too.  I would get hope that he would beat it, and then after being clear for a year, he died within three months.  It has been very hard to accept and to move on. People say he's in a better place.  But I'm not!!!!  

[Lulu]

sorry to hear of your loss. its not an easy journey for us. the emptiness and pain will be there for a while. as you said you dedicated all those years to him now its time for you. no matter what we do in life  they will always be with us and that is a big plus.

[Margie]

He told me on the Monday night before he died.  I would always sleep in the den with him because he could only sleep in his reliner and didn't sleep much even then.  So I would sleep on the couch or in the bed for just a little while.  I ALWAYS woke up on the hour to check on him.  I woke up and looked at him and he was crying.  He said " I know I am getting worse not better."  "I know I am going to a better place but I don't want to leave you.  There are so many things I wanted us to do together."  I tried to comfort him.  After a few minutes he said "ok, enough of that."  the next Thursday he started getting really bad.  Friday afternoon I took his blood pressure and it was bottoming out.  He said "honey, if it is my time there there is nothing you can do.  Just sop worrying over me."  I told him I loved him and I would never stop worrying.  He could not wake up that night and was in excruciating pain.  The next 2 days were hell and he was gone on Monday morning.  On sunday at one of the last moments he could respond...I told him I loved him to the moon and back.  I said do you hear me and he nodded.  I just can't get past this pain.  I miss him so badly and I see him in everything around me.  Time is not helping.

[Lulu]

Margie i feel your pain as if it was my own. I read your story and it brings tears to my eyes. What you had was a beautiful love story of warmth, dedication and deep love.   What you had many woman hope to accomplish in a life time and never do. Time is not helping because its cruel. But the love you had for one another was amazing hold on to that tight as you can and time will release some of the pain.

[Lulu]

Margie a Poem dedicated to your wonderful husband, and the beautiful pure love you have.

I Love you to the Moon and back!

Have you seen the moon today? its waiting for your embrace ,

it sits in space carrying the love you gave.

If you could see him now he has no pain his tears

have been wiped away, all tho he's far away the love remains.

He's everywhere! In every scent of your garden in every drop

of the time you spend. There is no lose ends.

"I Love you to the Moon and back" with that said

you cleared his path to a better place.

Lulu

[Ronald Gwyn]

yes im so sorry i feel the same my friend,its scary,dont know what to do about it or if there is anything i can do!!!  Ronnie in Va.